DATE NIGHT - Tatyana Fazlalizadeh : "Oklahoma Is Black" at Oklahoma Contemporary

On Sunday we visited Oklahoma Contemporary to see the “Oklahoma Is Black” exhibit by Tatyana Fazlalizadeh. This was hands down the most moving exhibit I’ve ever experienced. Tatyana is an Oklahoma native who now dwells in New York. Through her work she is confronting those who attempted to erase us completely. Her work is not for empathy or to gain respect from white people but for them to see us existing, celebrating and being loved.

Tatyana has so much talent that it is visually overwhelming. She has a way of capturing the actual essence of blackness. Love was all I felt as we entered the exhibit. I think right now is such an important time for me to visit this exhibition considering the lack of black celebration in Oklahoma. I have experienced more prejudice here in the past two years than I have my whole life. It would have been nice to see this exhibit at the “Project Row” houses in my hometown, but I am still very thankful for the experience. Maybe seeing it in Oklahoma added power to my interpretations.

The mood of the gallery gave me a Solange “When I get home” tone as far as the contemporary simplicity of black beauty displayed. She had old school family portraits and black culture all throughout. There are black roots here in Oklahoma and this exhibit was a reminder of that. I remember Troy telling me about Black Wallstreet, a community in Tulsa Oklahoma that was very successful in the early twentieth century. This was a thriving black community in Greenwood with black owned banks, grocery stores, beauty supply stores, hospitals and car dealerships. This place was basically Wakanda, and it was burned to the ground by white supremacists leaving families in despair. Tatyana really is putting on for Oklahoma and its history in this exhibit.

I felt beautiful and accepted in this space. I felt comfortable like I was in a room with my family. All of the art was relatable and nostalgic. Seeing black motherhood and black family pictures really was relaxing. The words she used in her art were everyday thoughts we have as black people. It was all of our woes and all of our magic in a very transparent but loving light. It felt alright to be black and strong.

There were video installations throughout the studio. There was also an activity area with mirrors to draw your reflection which was really neat to see. Phoenix behaved and let his dad and I enjoy which is was nice of him. I like where we are right now as far as Black culture. I am really proud to be black and be a black mother. Proud to be a black creative. Art is something that cannot be silenced and thats my favorite part about it. There are no limits with art.

I deeply encourage everyone to try and see this exhibit. Visit her Instagram @tlynnfaz for more information. She also has prints and merch available.

Photos taken by Troy Fox and yours truly. We tried the iPhone XS camera and loved how these shots came out.

Have you seen this exhibit already? Lets talk about it !

ON SPIRITUALITY : WHY I STOPPED READING MY HOROSCOPE FOR 6 MONTHS

Self awareness is the main focus within my personal spiritual health. Paying close attention to my thoughts, energy and habits keep me close to myself. I analyze how I’m expressing myself and how certain people and situations make me feel. I bookmark my reactions while living life. Through journaling, meditating and focusing inward I have a good grip on my emotions and overall mood. This is an accomplishment that came with heartache and self acceptance.

I have always been intrigued by horoscopes, zodiac, crystals and the stars in general. It is in my nature to connect to symbolism and meaning. I find comfort (spiritually), in thinking that my steps are already ordered and I have to just let go and let be. My spiritual journey initially started out with the physical aspect. In college, practicing yoga was a big thing for me. Connecting to the breath, and feeling my muscles strengthen gave me a high. It wasn’t until I graduated and taught yoga, that I started to focus more on what I actually “believe” in. At this moment in my life, I am still searching for a more definitive belief. What I follow in my day to day is, do good and good will come to you.

Currently I am still fascinated by zodiac and horoscopes. I have become less interested in collecting stones, and physical trinkets. Right now, I use Palo Santo a few times a week to cleanse my home or refresh my family and I’s energy. I also still study the stars and spiritual practices. I can sometimes predict someones zodiac sign by being around them, and I do think astrology and daily life intertwine. I am still very apprehensive about tarot and readings and I think thats okay, to each its own. Spiritual practice is supposed to feel comforting and uplifting.

Mid last year, I realized that I was consumed by my daily horoscopes/projections. I began to feel discouraged if I read something that didn’t align with my plans. The “mercury retrograde” began to be decaying and a little claustrophobic. During certain moon phases and times of the year it isn’t best to start new projects or travel. These concepts limited my creative surge, so I stopped reading it all for six months. I deleted my app that gave me daily insight on what a Pisces is to expect. I muted my favorite Insta-witches posts. I disregarded conversations about the mercury retrograde and what sign the moon was in at the time.Knowing when to pull back and rest gave me peace.

Now, I can read about the moon without letting it overwhelm me. Taking space from the subject allowed me to healthily ingest this information. Now, I can read it and understand that it does not have to change how I move. I don’t have to be fearful of obstacles or misfortunes because they are simply a part of life.

My spiritual journey still continues, as I learn new things each day. I hope that I encourage someone who has been through something similar to pace yourself with all the information presented to us in this day and age. Everything in moderation. I can enjoy the mystery of life without worrying and I hope you can too. This information should be a light guide and not a stressor.

MY 28TH SOLAR RETURN

Pisces season in general has me feeling very creative, sensual and overprotective. Last week when I was out and about I was more fearful of mishaps and watchful of strangers. I felt a major intuition alert to protect myself and Phoenix. I’ve been feeling positive and optimistic. I still have that fresh New Year energy. Also, I’ve had tears of joy a lot lately which I never do. I am extremely in touch with everything I am feeling at the moment.

My birthday this year was on a Monday. The weather was chilly, cloudy but very calming. I wanted my actual birthday to be very simple and restorative. Id spent much of the weekend celebrating with friends and family. The boys and I did a series of very common things like have lunch, take a walk to the park and had ice-cream together. I’ve learned, the simpler your birthday plans are, the more fun you will have. Ive spent too many birthdays imagining them for weeks, then they're the total opposite of what I dreamt of. Ive learned to just go with the flow to avoid disappointment and unnecessary pressure to have the perfect day. One thing we did want to do was wear something nice. We love a good reason to dress up a little. I wore a 100 percent silk slip dress (thrifted) with the sneakers troy got me for my birthday. He wore a casual suit which he looked really handsome in.

We ate at “Local Foods” in The Heights Houston. This is a good lunch spot. Troy and I both had sandwiches. This is a farm to table type of spot. The drinks we had were great and the ambiance was bright and vibrant.

We walked over to Donovan Park which was a suggested park by a friend of mine. No-one was at the park at all, so we had it to ourselves. In retrospect, we didn’t see one person the entire time we were there. It was nice to have that moment with just us three. The experience was kinda dreamy as the park is fairly large. As soon as we started to hear the thunder clap we had to leave the park but decided to get ice-cream before heading to the car. We got hit by many rain drops in route to the ice-cream place but it was worth it.

All photos taken with Sony A6000 on Feb 25, 2019.

OVERCAST WEEKEND IN HOUSTON

Last weekend, Phoenix and I had some quality time while Troy was out of town. We did a lot of visiting friends/family. We also stopped at various parks around the city in between plans. At one park we stopped at I met a guy whose name I can’t remember. He was a psychiatrist and did many years of therapy work. He was pushing his daughter Ana on the swing next to us. Ana was a little older than Phoenix, maybe two years old.

I love the social respect between stranger parents. Its so easy to chat with someone solely because of parenthood. We had a conversation about what it’s like to be a first time parent. He was much older than me but those are my favorite conversations. In the past few years, I’ve realized that I have so much to learn from strangers, co-workers and people who don’t know a lot about me. I enjoy discussions with people who are older because theres always something valuable to learn from them. Being strangers can make a conversation so organic. No preconceived notions or need to compete or impress.

I picked his brain about child development questions (free baby diagnostic LOL). I also asked him about his thoughts on the current mental health wave and we briefly discussed the CBD craze. We talked about all things mental health for about 45 minutes as we pushed our kids. I appreciated him being a father at the park with his daughter. He really was enjoying her and enjoying her interaction with Phoenix.

Once it started to get cold we said goodbye and left. I took a few things away from this conversation that ALL mothers should hear. He said that 80 percent of the information we google about our babies is inaccurate ; that all babies grow and do things at their own rate. He informed me that none of the external factors are considered on these websites with baby milestones. He also told me to never diagnose my child from internet information and that my instinct is the safest advice. I know this sounds so simple - like something I should already know. But, it feels so good to hear the confirmation from a professional.

Phoenix is starting to love the park. I tried to take him when he was 12 months or so, but he wasn’t interested. Im going to make it a point to take him to the most beautiful parks I can find. The swing is his favorite thing, he can swing for hours. If you want a therapeutic hang out for you and baby - I suggest the park.

These shots were taken at ‘The Menil Collection’ 2/2/19 by Houston based Photographer Delicia Walker.

To see more of her work visit her website : www.deliciaphotography.com

IG : @delicia.e.photos

WHAT IS IT LIKE LIVING IN THE MIDWEST ?

When we first relocated to Oklahoma City, I honestly experienced culture shock. Growing up in Houston and coming straight from LA to Oklahoma was a major transition. I spent the first 6 months trying to accept our move and trying to understand why the universe sent us here. I knew when Troy and I got together that we wanted to travel and live different places, but it’s easier said than done. Now that Ive been here a little over two years, I love it.

Oklahoma City is a very quaint place. When I go to target or to the grocery store, I usually see someone I know. Theres no real traffic here and everywhere you need to go is fairly close. Ive fallen in love with the beauty of Oklahoma nature. Theres a lot of lush open land and real seasons. In the fall theres so many colors, real snow in the winters. The sunsets everyday are panoramic and breathtaking. Oklahoma City is big on agriculture, so the farmers markets are bomb. At night you can see the stars, theres no city fog. In the summers, you can hear crickets and nature so loudly.

One time I went to get a pizza and after I ordered I realized I’d left my wallet at home. The owner told me to just pay him next time, small-town charm. When ambulances drive by people pull over WAY BEFORE the ambulance is near, there’s respect for emergency. On Sundays its a quiet ghost town, people are inside with their families. Everything is cheap ! Gas is cheap, cost of living is cheap. OKC has so many thrift stores and thriving family owned businesses. I have a lot of little quaint shops I like to visit. We’ve scouted out the almost city like “artsy-hipster” area. We’ve found our favorite museum and brunch spots.

One major downside is that there is no diversity. Often, we are the only people of color when we go to an establishment. It makes us appreciate home so much more when we visit. It is tough being far removed from your roots, we miss our family a lot. I know being away from instant help has made me grow tremendously, figuring things out on my own. I think everyone should experience moving away from everything you know, so you can get more familiar with yourself. When my friends visit they always say they feel so at peace and relaxed which I love.

In retrospect, this was the perfect place for me to be pregnant, become a mother. Live that slow calm life for a couple of years and give birth to a new me. Being here has allowed me to experience a judgment free life, because no-one knows what i’m doing day to day. Living here gave me an opportunity to nurture my relationship with my partner and raise my toddler without much unsolicited advice. Living in a big city can sometimes distract you from what you feel is true. You can create and live in your own reality while being comfortable in your own nature. I’m a completely different person than I was when we got here. This is the last year we will be here so I’m soaking it all in !

All photos taken by me with SONY A6000 in Goldsby, Oklahoma.

REALISTIC SELF CARE PRACTICES

“Self care” is a concept that has exploded over the past few years. I love the shamelessness about doing what feels good for you and your body. The attention on individuality and mental health is extremely satisfying to me. When I think about self care, I think about how we’re on autopilot most of the time. We tend to robotically move through time only stopping to sleep. We are all just going going going until we crash.

Commercially self care is seen as a warm baths, face masks and yoga classes. While I agree that a bath bomb and some asanas can put you in a better mood, I have some more realistic forms of self care that (I believe) have more beneficial and immediate results. In college, I studied community health/ health science. I learned a lot about the needs of our bodies in direct correlation to how we react to life on a day to day basis. The need for emergency self care presents itself when we have gone too long without balance and listening to what our body is telling us.

Here are some of the self care practices that I live by:

1. CLEAN UP : If your space is clean, you will feel clean. Clean your apartment or room from top to bottom and this will automatically make you feel productive and clear minded. (Clean all counter-spaces, do laundry, clean the bathroom. THE WORKS!!) - When I’m cleaning I zone out and completely forget about the outside world. This also gives me time to sort my thoughts without interruption.

2. DO THAT THING YOU’VE BEEN AVOIDING : Nothing takes up space in your brain like suppressing that one task you need to do. Take that bag of clothes to the Goodwill like you said you would two weeks ago. Call your annoying relative back that you don’t want to talk to but feel guilty for curving. Call that bill collector and ask for that extension. Finish the assignment now instead of procrastinating and waiting until the last minute. Once you do this one thing, you will feel that weight off of your shoulders.

3. ENERGY BALANCING : If you’ve been spending too much time alone, get out with a friend. If you’ve been spending too much time around people, take 5 or 6 hours of hibernation, no phones or outside interaction. I personally, am around my son and his dad a lot. When I notice my energy imbalance, I am usually in need of feminine energy. I will go have coffee with a girlfriend or have a good 2 hour phone conversation with one of my homegirls and that does the trick. Right now I am working on getting a lady cat for this very reason. If you work in a female dominated space maybe you need male energy or conversation.

4. GIVE YOURSELF SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO : I thrive during my weeks when I know I have something planned to be excited about. Purposely plan things during the week outside of school or work to keep your energy flowing. Instead of waiting until Saturday to get your nails done or visit with a friend, do it Tuesday evening. This will break up that robotic schedule you have and keep things fresh. Plan a road trip a month out or a dinner with someone you enjoy so you can have something positive to look forward to. After all, life is about actually living.

5. SAY NO - Stop agreeing to shit you DON’T WANT TO DO. How many times have you made plans with someone and cringed up until the moment its time to follow through ? Or, how many favors have you done that benefitted you in no way and totally inconvenienced you in the end ? Just say no. Saying no used to kill me, but it became easier each time I put myself first. Your off days, your money and your peace of mind belong to YOU.

6. WASH YOUR HAIR - Even though wash day seems like a daunting task, there is something therapeutic about the self groom process. When you are done, you will feel fresh and all around more attractive. If your hair is anything like mine - you will feel like you finished a marathon.

7. DECLUTTER - This is very different from cleaning up. Decluttering is literally throwing things away. Throw away the clothes you don’t wear anymore. Clean your car out and get a carwash. Get rid of all those hair products you don’t use. Sort and get rid of all the mail sitting around ( even though you should have paperless billing ). Freeing space is freeing your mind but I wont get all minimalist on you-yet.

8. DRINK SOME WATER : This is my favorite self care move ! When I start to feel grief or stress creep over my shoulder the first thing I do is drink some water. Troy always tells me that “water is the elixir of life”. - and its true ! How can you feel good if you are thirsty or dehydrated ? One bottle of water instantly makes me feel better about myself.

9. COOK YOURSELF A BOMB MEAL : Throughout the week, how many meals did you actually prepare for yourself and enjoy making? Take some time to cater to yourself and cook exactly what you crave. Soul food is an automatic pick me up. Your body deserves food prepared by your own hands.

10. DO ONE THING AT A TIME : This was one of my New Years resolutions, but also a daily self care tip. A sure way to get yourself overwhelmed is trying to do too many things at once. Slow down and complete tasks one at a time. Life is way more fruitful when you give moments all of your attention. Be present.

"DREAM"

Photography and Creative Direction by Rosebeth Akharamen

BEING THE FIRST FRIEND TO GET PREGNANT - MATERMEA FEATURE

I had the pleasure of being featured on MATER MEA - an informative platform for black mothers to tell their stories, build community, and share resources. The feature topic was advice I’d give to someone who is the first person of their friend group to get pregnant. I wanted to elaborate on this topic more and give more extensive advice. Heres five pointers :

1. Don’t expect people who have never been pregnant before to understand what you need without verbalizing exactly that. People who have not experienced pregnancy do not know how scary or emotional this process is. Some people have experienced pregnancy but its been too long for them to remember the details.

2. Take this time to establish a spiritual connection with your baby, pay attention to their personality traits when they’re moving in your belly. Are they up more in the middle of the night ? How do they react to certain foods you’re eating ? Are they active or chill ?

3. NESTING ! - Busy yourself with creating an ideal space for your baby. Whether you have a room, an apartment or lots of room in a house MAKE IT COZY and personalize. You will be spending so much time here, not leaving much once your baby is born. So make sure you wake up everyday grateful for the interior around you.

4. Focus on your partner or those who are there for you. The most random people became my support system when I was pregnant. My little cousin Kortne who is about 3 years younger than me ended up being the person who checked on me everyday. We became very close at this time. She has a three year old daughter, and she is still someone I can go to when I have questions.

5. Understand that this is all temporary. Just as you are adjusting to being pregnant, people are adjusting to how your relationship with them may change. Now, you can’t go out and drink or be as available as you used to. Also, if you’re the first to get pregnant in your friend group, this may put a little pressure on your friends or make them feel a little behind if they are nowhere near this stage in their lives. Allow that time for distance and if the relationship is strong enough it will prevail.

   To explore MATERMEA & see this feature visit the link http://bit.ly/2MtIWQP

   Visit @matermea Instagram to meet some mama friends.

30 BEFORE 30

Next month, I turn twenty-eight. In general I am pretty excited about getting older. I’m not a woman who is afraid of aging. Honestly I think your twenties are awful, and confusing ! With time I get wiser, calmer and more realistic. By the time you’re thirty you have a sharper concept of time. By thirty I feel I’ll be even more comfortable in my skin. I’ll have more of the life I intended to have. At 28 I am almost there, Im just ready to reap the benefits of the personal and professional work I put in. As my twenties are ending there are some things I’d love to accomplish these last two years. While creating this post I realized how little time I have to make these things happen, but I am determined. Here they are in no particular order.

1. Run a marathon

2. Host a fancy dinner holiday party

3. Travel out of the country

4. Straighten my hair (Its been 8 years)

5. Buy a jeep

6. Design and create my ideal home

7. Get a cat ( female)

8. Write + Publish a book

9. Intimate girls trip in Joshua Tree

10. Take Phoenix to the beach

11. Karaoke

12. Perform spoken word / poetry

13. Be featured in a magazine

14. Learn to make gumbo

15. Take a ceramics class

16. Donate a $1,000 to a non-profit that resonates with my beliefs.

17. Teach high school English & Literature

18. Roadtrip across country for two weeks

19. Go to one of those fancy 5 hour spa days

20. Get a film camera

21. Be debt free

22. Have a nice savings

23. Baecation in San Fran + Oregon (all in one trip)

24. Buy Mac desktop computer

25. Speak on a panel with other black women.

26. Have a wardrobe that I am in love with.

27. Continue minimalism.

28. Curate at least two successful creative projects

29. Travel for New Years

30. Be more knowledgable about books, authors & literature in general

What are some things I can add to my list ?

GENERATIONAL TRAUMA

Generational trauma is a topic that is very sensitive for me. I think the awareness of it has heightened within the black community and its something that needs to be addressed. Now that I have my own child I often think about what he will take from me and pass on to his own children. Generational trauma makes me hyper aware of each decision I make as a mother.

From what I remember I had a great childhood. However, there are a lot of behavioral patterns and mental disorders I am now having to unlearn & break apart 27 years later. Now is a time where us parents have much more modern access to information regarding health and raising our children. This is also a time where old school child-raising methods are now lost and the simpler ways of living have disintegrated. I am painfully caught in the middle. Raising Phoenix, I try to take what was sturdy from my upbringing and mix it with modern practices I’ve picked up since becoming a parent.

Two things I will be sure to ingrain my son :

1. To not be afraid of his feelings. I will always be open to him appropriately expressing himself without shutting him out. My generation of men are all emotionally unavailable because they were raised thinking they had to be STRONG and HARD to be a man. They were raised thinking it wasn’t okay to cry, even as young boys.

2. To follow his own path. My generation was raised to

   • Graduate highschool

   • Pick a college & career path ( at age 18-19)

   • Graduate College/Find a Career with your degree

   • Meet your significant other/Get married (around age 24)

   • Buy a House and have kids (maybe a dog) travel if lucky

   • Die

Literally these are the typical expectations. I will give my son time to figure out who he is. I will allow him to actively explore the opportunities life has presented him with. I will encourage him to travel, for the love of his life could be on the other side of the world. I will assist him in finding his true passion so that he isn’t aimlessly wallowing in depression and self defeat a majority of his twenties.

I will get to know my son for who he grows into. I will not try to vicariously live through him and force my wants onto his life. I will not alienate him. I will place him into the world with the right mental and emotional tools.

Its so easy to get lost in this world. Generationally, we are taught to be “strong” ignore the pain that comes with this life.

I will teach him new strength.

These pictures are of Phoenix and his cousin Kylie. The future.

BABY FREE ART DATE

Anytime Troy and I have time without Phoenix the energy is so peculiar. As soon as we separate from him it feels like a different realm of life. Its too easy getting out of the car freely without having to grab his diaper bag or get his stroller out of the trunk. Its like we miss him but just as equally, we are in disbelief to be free.

During our travel home (Houston) I asked my Granny if she could watch him for the day. I dislike asking for babysitters and have extreme guilt in general about asking for help involving my son. He's only been babysat about five times in his life. I knew Troy and I needed this break and I knew she would say yes !! Being the first time mom that I am, I gave her a lengthy verbal speech about how to babysit him for a day. My granny is overqualified for watching a baby. (The most important part was showing her how to work his Ipad) and we were off !

We went straight to the Menil Collection that day. Art museums are something we’ve enjoyed together since the very beginning of our relationship. I personally am more into tactile, modern, contemporary, African and Asian History art. Troy is open and into most art, he really enjoys Basqiat, Mark Rothko paintings and anything interpretive. I would say the museum is my favorite place to people watch. You see a lot of people on dates, you see parents trying to pre expose their children to art. You see artists themselves. You see a lot of fashion and camera stunting and I love every bit of it.

When we arrived there were people outside picnicking and drinking wine on the Rothko Chapel lawn. We took some pictures outside of the museum before we went in as Menil does not allow pictures. The vibe on the inside does feel really sacred and timeless. We floated in and out of each gallery room taking our time and observing whatever grabbed our attention.

We extended our photoshoot after we left and that was all it took for us to be fulfilled. A two hour date to the museum, just the two of us.

Photos taken at Menil Collection Museum in Houston Texas 12/23/2018

BEHIND THE SCENES

This past weekend, the boys & I had our first family shoot. My good friend Rosebeth, a Houston native photographer asked if she could capture my family. I knew beforehand it would be a disaster taking professional photos with an 18 month old. Luckily, she has been my friend since college and has tons of experience with kids. A few years ago, when Troy and I were living in California she drove all 3 of us to Joshua Tree and took shots we used as our anniversary pictures. Her vision is a gift to the black community. I am excited to get the images back and add them to LADYFOX, but until then, here are some behind the scenes shots.

If you want to check out more of her work :

www.isirose.com

IG : isi.rose_

Photos taken at The West Studios in the Heights Houston 12/23/2018

2018.

2018 was an overall dramatic year for me. The last four months of it have been surprisingly blissful. This year was my first FULL YEAR of motherhood, and I am still a rookie. This was my first year growing and cultivating with my own family through this world. I have learned how to run a household effectively. I think I am now submerged in what people call “adulthood”. Although I do feel like an adult, I still feel the warmth of youth. This year we traveled a lot, so we were low on money this summer from our travels (worth it). We took a couple of “out of state” trips and then at least 7 road-trips home (Houston). As a couple, we began to focus more on each other and whats best for all three of us as a unit. Troy and I have established our expectations for the New Year and years to come. I feel prepared for 2019. I can feel my style re-emerging after being pregnant/having Phoenix. I am starting to feel more creative and more connected to my vision. I usually am desperate for the year to end, but I will miss 2018. This year made me stronger all the way around and introduced me to the best parts of who I am.

Photos taken at The Jones Assembly in Oklahoma City 12/2/18

MAMA FRIENDS

Here are a few intimate moments from a lovely meet up with Baby Zula (I call her Zula Boo) and her mama Ayaba. Although I had seen Ayaba around Houston a couple times, I never knew how significant she would be years later to my life. Ayaba is an aspiring midwife, she does birth-work AND is an organic hairstylist in Houston.

We began to chat back and forth via Instagram DM early 2017 when we both had announced our pregnancies. Endless hours were spent talking about all the hopes and wonders of motherhood. We had a lot in common. We are the same age, both Pisces women and our babies are just shy of two months a part. And, how cute is it that we showed up with the same shoes on ? When I finally saw her and talked to her in person, it felt just as it did during our many conversations, except we were running after our toddlers the entire time. We talked almost everyday when we were pregnant and still frequently giving each other advice along the way. I think its important to have other moms as friends or communicative support. This was my favorite part about my last visit home to Houston.

Images shot in Third Ward at Doshi House. 11/24/2018

To follow Zula & Ayabas journey :

IG - @iyaearth

Ayabas blog : ileiya.wordpress.com