TREAT YOURSELF HOW YOU WANT OTHERS TO TREAT YOU

We often hear the phrase, “treat others how you want to be treated.” Meaning do (or don’t do) unto others as you wish to be done unto you. As a child, this really meant - dont say or do mean things to others, because you wouldn’t want to be handled that way. This was our very premature introduction to taking responsibility for our actions involving other people.

One of my main focuses has been raising awareness in my close relationships and heightening my self worth. I am learning that it is important to treat myself how I want others to treat me. In my last post, I talked about self accountability and changes I can make as an individual to create the connections I want. I talked about how I often would look at what changes others could make to enhance MY life, which is a poor way of thinking. Lately, treating myself how I want others to treat me seems to be the medicine my choices needed. Prior to this shift I was depleted from filling everyone else’s cup before mine. I would run myself ragged trying to prioritize others happiness before my own. I would say yes when I wanted to say no. I would feel guilt about not being available. I was a people pleaser, but also a blamed others for my own unhappiness and lack of appreciation. I learned that in order to be treated like a Queen I’d first have to treat myself like one.

If I don’t value my time, why would others? If I don’t show others the way I like to be nurtured then how would they know? I realized I had to set the tone. I would say this shift happened late January of this year. I began to:

  • Take myself on meaningful dates

  • Wear beautiful clothing that made me feel good inside

  • Get my nails done routinely for pampering and beauty upkeep

  • Buy myself fresh flowers every week and a half

  • Cook delicious meals for myself

  • Plan solo events and travels for myself

  • Say yes to things that interest me without thinking myself out of it

  • Creating a dream atmosphere for myself at home

  • Prioritize my body, mind and spirit

  • Read and learn more self help books

  • Releasing guilt around buying myself nice things

Doing these things for myself birthed a new me. I had new standards and new perspectives about things. My happiness was no longer dependent on what others did or didn’t do for me. Regardless of outside efforts, I was fulfilled. This created more grace, and appreciation in my relationships. Not only did it take unnecessary responsibility off of those around me - but it also showed others what I was accustomed to. If I choose to only expose myself to greatness, then I can only respond to greatness. Upgrading yourself is upgrading everyone else around you in a way.

In the image above, you will see these beautiful white roses I got myself a couple weeks ago. I was so proud of them and loved the way they looked in my kitchen. There was no second thoughts about buying them on the spot, because I knew I deserved them. I’ve been committed to keeping floral arrangements in my home to remind me of my beauty. Days later, I was given seven dozen roses. I think a lot of it has to do with my new personal standards. I wasn’t given anything I didn’t already have or couldn’t give to myself - but (in my mind) I created the norm. While we all deserve our flowers, we can’t expect anything we wouldn’t give to ourselves. Treat yourself how you want others to treat you. It has to be your efforts first, and then other efforts are just extra. Be responsible for you.