MY RELATIONSHIP WITH SOCIAL MEDIA
After deep reflection of what feels like a lifetime - I finally have a grip on the language that vocalizes my outlook. For me, social media has always been a complex space. Mostly because I was born in an era that existed without it. In my formative years, there was a more sacred feeling around expression and personal growth. Social media is an outward channel that has challenged my reserved essence. People having common reservation in the past ( 99’s and 2000’s) held a tenderness among simple pleasures. Back then, self satisfaction was enough - where now public validation has actualized. However, I can easily see how being born into this construct makes it easier to accept and participate.
I fondly remember what it was like when we all were more unique. People were more colorful and comfortable with their quirks. This was a time when you weren’t aware of what other people were doing. You were left to produce your own entertainment and had time to develop your interests. Meeting humans was a treat because they felt genuine and accurate in their persona. Now it seems much easier to categorize people by their “titles” and whatever they wish to be categorized by. There was a time where you could just exist as whoever you were that day.
Growth for me as a pre-teen was intuitive. When I wasn’t at school I spent a lot of time writing. I would listen to songs and write down the lyrics. Then I would read the lyrics over and over until I knew the words to the songs. I found so much delight in understanding the meanings of things and being able sing along without looking at the paper. I also would get so excited to spend time with my cousins or to go to the movies with friends. Access to other people was limited, therefore relationships were valued so much more. Missing someone was a true longing because maybe they weren’t home when you called their ‘house phone’. Being outside and playing until you’re bored - and finding ways to survive boredom FORCED your natural talents to reveal themselves through exploration. NATURAL EXPLORATION. An exploration that you have to be bored to find. I feel that we just aren’t bored enough anymore. The desire to separate yourself from dullness hit so different back then. I guess I just wish people had more time to develop before they have heightened awareness of other peoples way of life. When you’re flushed with all of this “inspo” you get far away from yourself.
I find pros and cons within the realm of social media. Let’s start with some of my not so great thoughts. I think social media is a breeding grounds for mental illness. I think that it is the King of capitalism. I feel that social media resists individuality and creates a “guide” for what humans feel they should be. I think social media forces people to download high amounts of unnecessary information causing overwhelm and anxiety. I also feel that social media hosts addiction and a false sense of power. I think that social media is a distraction from all the beautiful tiny details that life offers. Social media has become the in-between of responsibilities and tasks - where the in-between used to be reflection and mental creative play. I think that social media has tampered with our flow of conversation and normal human interaction.
In the same breath, I think that social media is a place to express yourself and empower others. I feel that social media allows humans to be heard without being seen. I see how social media has created lucrative income and has freed many from poverty, emergencies and working for companies that never valued them. I love that. Another thing I appreciate about social media - is the opportunity to connect with like minded folks who may be on the other side of the world. The ability to discover new layers of the arts has been endless through content creation and the skill sharing. Social media has become a space where citizens can share the unfiltered realities of injustice which is informative and necessary.
I find it crucial to personalize your association with social media - depending on your mental capacity and level of self awareness. At this point in my life - I have a very specific treatment when it comes to social media and I want to share it for some people who may be analyzing their own attachments with social media. Here is a set of principles I follow regularly in regard to the socials:
My biggest thing about social media is that I don’t want to be a part of the problem. I don’t want to promote capitalism. I don’t want to post only highlights of my life that could possibly make someone feel “jealous” or inferior. I don’t want to post something that may offend or trigger someone I care or used to care about. I don’t want to post information that takes up unnecessary space in someone’s subconscious. I don’t want to have a negative impact on anybody - especially if I’m posting when feeling temporary emotions. So, at this point in my life - I try to post things that are fruitful, inspiring, or simply important. I have been working very hard to not come off as hypercritical or superior to others. I genuinely feel like social media could be so much more powerful if the quality of content was elevated on all forefronts.
One hour a day: My second biggest issue with social media is the amount of time it can take up. It is easy to scroll for long periods of time and lose track of your thought patterns. I do have certain creators who I love to keep up with and after I’ve seen their posts and a small amount of new information - its time to get off. I value my physical life and want to be present for those moments more than anything. I have an alert on the app that pops up when I’ve been active for one hour that day. As soon as it pops up - I leave it alone for the day and some days I don’t get on at all. Anytime I continue past an hour - I can feel it because I start to scroll past posts I saw a year ago OR information and themes become repetitive. Over time, my mind has grown to yearn for deeper stimulation.
I update my followed accounts yearly & use the mute stories/posts features: Controlling what information I see when I log on is important. If all you consume is toxic/negative or triggering posts - this will generate a black hole in my brain where all this useless information lives. (The information in this hole exposes itself through my subconscious in moments where I am tired, dehydrated or sad). I make sure to go through the accounts I follow and unfollow those that produce cynical thoughts of myself, make me feel drained or uninspired. If I don’t want to unfollow someone I’ve known since 5th grade - but they post wild content - I mute them. I love the mute feature. You can love someone without subscribing to their interests and misaligned memes :( / :)
I post when I want and not out of pressure. I used to feel like I couldn’t go a certain amount of time without posting. If I’d gone a month or so without posting I felt like I was hibernating and no longer a part of society but - it’s okay to not want to share anything. I had to learn that keeping some things to myself is actually a freedom and a way to implement personal validation. There was once a time when we learned about others through a home phone conversation and actually had to CONNECT in order to acquire knowledge about someone new.
My likes are off. This was a game changer for me because I feel like it took the power away from the “ick” aspect of social media. Whether I get 400 likes or 78 likes on a post suddenly became irrelevant. I remember back in the day before I would post something I’d get anxious and my heart would beat fast. That seems silly to me now. I realize that this level of distress is highly unhealthy even if it exists for just a second.
Allow yourself to be inspired by the content you consume. Now when I get on Instagram, I see so much cool stuff that my daily hour goes by fast. Seeing the art that some of my favorite creators have produced keeps me inspired. Staying up to date with events I may want to attend is also entertaining for me. Looking at the outfits that some of my favorite fashionistas have put together bring me so much joy. I love the pages I follow that inspire me to decorate my apartment better or suggest new music for me to listen to. I also love to giggle at the petty memes that those closest to me share - which accumulate and bring me actual joy.
I would say my last one is to find entertainment in other platforms. I draw the line at IG - meaning, I don’t have Twitter or TikTok. However, I do spend a lot of time on Pinterest and Youtube or Apple Podcasts. I spend a little time on SubStack reading articles from writers/creatives I follow. Having other platforms to go to that promote a mental ambiance more aligned to my personality is crucial.
Everyone has a different opinion about social media, but the truth is that it has impact on us all. Understanding what kind of impact it has on you is a responsibility. I also consider my sensitivity toward social media as a high school teacher. Watching my students mental/emotional growth in parallel with social media is sometimes disheartening. I also know that some of my sensitivity comes from being in my thirties and having over a decade of life without social media and understanding how simple things once were. I remember when my friends and I would write letters and pass them in between classes. I just don’t want the art of being a human to be watered down by electronics and mass media.
What is your relationship like with social media?