CURATOR HIGHLIGHT - INTERVIEW WITH LEEZA JONEE ARTIST, WRITER & CREATOR OF THE BREATHING SPACE

Here we are on our third curator highlight, which I’m so delighted to share. *clap clap*  Today, we are speaking to the gorgeous Leeza Jonee also known as Lee, a product of Goldsboro, North Carolina. Leeza is an illustrator, writer and curator of the community project/movement known as “The Breathing Space”. The Breathing Space is so special because it is a home for healing and community. I selected Leeza for today’s highlight because she is one of the strongest and powerful black women that I follow. Aside from purchasing prints from Leeza, I fell in love with her mission, and style of celebrating black women and culture. Leeza is the prototype for the kind of leaders and creatives we need to change the narrative and maintain positive shifts for our people. Leeza has these amazing illustrations of feminine body figures called “ thick jawn”, that are both honest and seductive. She just recently shared her 3rd installment called “midnight dedications to the body” which are amazing as well. I couldn't help but share such a multifaceted and talented black woman. HERE WE GO !

LadyFox - If you could describe Leeza Jonee` in three words, what would they be?

• tender

• curious

• renaissancing - lol made up but it comes to mind too easily when I think of all that I do

LadyFox - What is your message/intentions with the breathing space?

Leeza -The notion that there is “healing in community”. Even for the folks who feel there isn’t something to directly be healed from. My goal is to emphasize how necessary community and allyship is for growth and self care.

LadyFox - What is your experience as a black woman in the present day?

Leeza - Where do I start? — I am constantly learning and unlearning ways in which to navigate society as a black woman. Not that there is a right or wrong way to to exist as a black woman but to fully embrace my blackness and my womanhood in all that I do. From breathing to creating to loving. I believe we as black women are often challenged, more so than other races and genders. There has yet to be a movement for just US, that is groundbreaking or makes headlines. Both the Civil Rights movement and the Black Power movement, although immensely radical and revolutionary, majorly existed, uplifted and supported the black man with the majority of that uplifting and support lying heavily on the backs of black women. I still feel, today (Black Lives Matter movement), that we as black women are the backbone of much of the rallying and outcries of our society. My intention, especially as a creative, is to be that protest for us, in all ways. 

 LadyFox - Were your body prints a one time creative project or will you continue with visual art?

Leeza - I’ll definitely continue! lol I’ve been drawing my whole life. The body line drawings took me out of my comfort zone of realism and furthered my desire to continue celebrating our bodies. I’ve always drawn the female form; when I was younger, I wanted to become a fashion designer. My current line drawings are digital and I plan to explore acrylic and oil painting as an alternative medium for this style.

LadyFox - What can someone expect when they come to "The Breathing Space"?

      Leeza -  Being that the topics are so varied, the experience is always changing yet the energy remains the same. You can always expect to meet a curious and eager crowd. That is my favorite part. The setup of The Breathing Space is less of a panel and more of living room vibe so you get a real and chill atmosphere. We speak and express candidly our lived experiences and opinions. I’ve learned so much and have been put on to new and similar life stories. 

LadyFox -What is one piece of advice you would give to someone who wants to be an artist?

    Leeza - Perseverance and consistency. A constant reminder for myself. You truly recognize the fruits of your labor the harder you work and more focused you remain. Also, be open to feedback. I’ve learned this more as a writer. Publishers told me that once I complete my collection of work, share it with those closest to me and those that appreciate the art. It helps to understand who your audience is.  

LadyFox - What does it feel like to give back to people of color and support community through your work?

Leeza - It’s so surreal and triumphant. This may sound odd but it wasn’t my main intention. I’ve done the work for the sake of doing the work; whether creating, writing or holding space, I’ve always felt that it was something that needed to be done. Over time, aside from my desire to just “do”, I’ve been more motivated to continue The Breathing Space and my creative endeavors from the response of my community. That’s where the victory lies. 

LadyFox - What is your definition of love?

Leeza - A space that is unconditional and sacrificial. I have this affirmation,

“woman of many talents. lover, my greatest one.” 

I don’t necessarily mean “romantic” lover. When you walk in “love” you exist without conditions and in all that you do, you make the paramount decisions to follow through with the ultimate goal.

LadyFox - Describe how a "perfect" day would go for Leeza.

Leeza - Near water. Good music. Reading, writing, working through my to-do list and making deadlines with no distractions. Oh and coffee. I’ve recently turned off all notifications on my phone to make this more of a reality; I’m less inclined to pick up my phone if it’s not buzzing every minute lol.

LadyFox - At what moment did you realize that you needed to birth "The Breathing Space"  for the community?

Leeza - I don’t think there was an “ah ha” moment for me. As an only child, I’ve always craved kinship, so creating and hosting a space for others came naturally. In the beginning, I was asked to host a “cocktails and conversation” event with no intention of it becoming what The Breathing Space is today. (There was supposed to be a different name and setup). That idea and offer came to me and I ran with it. As mentioned above, the community made me realize that what I’ve desired my whole life was necessary for all.

I WROTE ABOUT FENG SHUI ON "ALLTHEPRETTYBIRDS"

Click here to see my article I wrote on Feng Shui that is now up on “All The Pretty Birds”. I was very excited for this article to be published and I love me some Tamu McPherson, so this was a fangirl moment ! If you’re into all things home decor and vibes, check it out !

Photo by Latonya Yvette

CURATOR HIGHLIGHT - INTERVIEW W/ CHRISTIANA OF BUM-CAKE VINTAGE

Today we’ll take an inside look at the thoughts of Christiana Greene, curator and owner of Bum-Cake Vintage. I discovered Christiana on Instagram a couple years ago, and have followed her journey into the vintage world. I myself am a big lover of vintage lingerie. I love silky sets and slips. I think it is empowering for a woman to dress sexy and be adorned around her home, even on occasions that aren't necessarily “special”. With my transition to womanhood, I realized I felt more celebrated, and fulfilled in queenly loungewear. My favorite kind of lingerie is the old gold label Victoria’s Secret, from back in the day when the brand was more exclusive and intentional. 

Bum-Cake Vintage sells the exact kind of lingerie a woman needs while tending to her household, her children, her cooking, her plants, her anything. Christiana also sells some homegoods ! I can’t wait to get my hands on one of her sea-shell candles. This brand is so feminine forward and I love it. Another thing I admire about Christiana is her online presence, she remains unique and untainted by mainstream retail concepts. Bum-Cake Vintage is charming, and feels really natural to support. It is so important for the brown woman to feel sexy and empowered, that is why Bum-Cake Vintage is the highlight this week. Let’s get into her interview !

LadyFox -When did you fall in love with vintage lingerie ?

Christiana -I first fell in love with vintage years ago when I used to sell regular vintage for women and men. I've always been attracted to really frilly, girly things... you know, like ruffles, silk, and satin. I'm a girly girl for sure. 

LadyFox - What are your thoughts on womanhood and femininity ?

Christiana -Womanhood and femininity are sources of life. I believe in the whole concept of "divine femininity." The importance of womanhood is often underrated, but I think that's changing--I see women coming together now more than ever before and it's a beautiful thing to observe and be a part of because we are creators of community, love, creation, sensuality... everything. When women come together, amazing things happen. This has been shown throughout history over and over again. 

LadyFox - Where are you based ?

Christiana -I currently live in Ridgewood, NY, which is on the border of Queens and Brooklyn--it's very close to Bushwick and Bedstuy.

 LadyFox- I can see you’ve been traveling ! What are some of your favorite places you've visited ?

Christiana -I really enjoyed London and would love to live there for a year, nothing permanent, but it would be cool. I also really enjoyed visiting Milan and Paris. While in Paris, I spent a great deal of time shopping for beauty products... actually, correction: MOST of my time in Paris was spent shopping for beauty products. I loved it.

LadyFox -What other areas of arts are you interested in besides fashion ?

Christiana - I'm really interested in dabbling into home goods. I currently make and sell candles that are biodegradable and reusable, but I want to get into making incense and pottery a bit. We'll see where my heart takes me, haha. 

LadyFox -Describe a perfect day in your world ?

Christiana - Waking up around 6am when the neighborhood is still quiet, making myself tea while getting myself ready for the day. Reading a few poems or chapters from a book before heading to a pilates or meditation class. Lunch in a park with my partner before heading to an art show or gallery. Dinner and drinks at a fave restaurant or local spot. Then heading home to relax and reflect on my day before watching a movie or show while eating ice cream or creme brulee. I love eating ice cream/creme brulee in bed while watching a movie/show or listening to music. I really appreciate the simple things these days. Nothing fancy, just peaceful simplicity. 

LadyFox -What message do you want to give others about sustainable living ? 

Christiana -I keep reading articles about scientists saying that we only have somewhere between 10-15 years before global warming is irreversible. That being said, we all need to be more mindful about conserving energy, resources, and even making better choices when it comes to what brands we support and what products we use. Try to use products that are reusable and be sure to recycle. When it comes to clothing, support indie brands and try to not support fast fashion retailers. Also, wear more vintage when you can. We can all be more mindful with these things. The information is out there, just google it. 

LadyFox - What is your current experience like being a woman of color in the present day ?

Christiana -I feel like it's an exciting time. I feel like the opportunities available to us are finally becoming endless... like the world certainly has a way to go as far as seeing our worth, but we are building our own businesses and there are so many of us who are entrepreneurs across all industries these days that we're doing well on our own. Us women of color are supporting each other and building our own communities, so we're really flourishing. It's pretty amazing. 

LadyFox -What things do you find romantic ?

Christiana -I find romance in so many things, it's kind of silly lol. For starters, long, intimate, deep discussions about life and other random things that leave me feeling pensive are romantic. 

LadyFox -What is your zodiac sign ?

Christiana - I'm a Capricorn. All day. 

LadyFox - How do you like your coffee?

Christiana -I rarely drink coffee, but when I do, I like an espresso. Also, when I was in Milan, I really enjoyed the caffe ginseng, which is just an espresso with ginseng extract. So good! Normally, I'm an avid tea drinker though. I love tea--I drink it morning, noon, and night. I love rose earl grey or this reishi matcha mix in the morning and then chai with oat or almond milk midday and a non-caffeinated herbal tea at night. 

LadyFox -What is your BEST vintage find so far ? 

Christiana -Well, it's not really a find, but more of a gift from my late great grandmother... I have this beautiful Delill lucite beaded purse that was handmade in Italy from her. It's gorgeous and I'll cherish it forever. 

LadyFox -How did you come up with the name BUM-CAKE VINTAGE, (which is so cute by the way) ?

Christiana - Thank you, it was a term of endearment for an ex-lover and then, it became the name of this blog my college friends and I tried to start years ago. Now, it's the name of my brand. It's weird, but I like it. 

I really hope you guys enjoyed this interview. I am really proud of what Christiana does for the community. Look below on how to find/support her business.

Personal Instagram : @bum_cake

Bumcake Vintage Instagram : @bumcakev

Website : www.bum-cake.com                     

NAIL APPOINTMENT TURNED THERAPY

My nail techs name was Krystal and she had a calming energy. As soon as she began on my nails, she seemed really sure of herself. Usually at nail shops you can tell a lot about the owner by the way the nail techs interact with you. Ive been to nail shops in the past where nail techs aren’t appreciated, don’t get enough breaks, and do mani-pedis from the moment they arrive to the moment they leave. One reason I love my nail shop, is because the mood is always pretty upbeat and the techs seem genuinely happy to be at work. One thing I struggle with finding, is a nail tech who isn’t afraid to take risks and try different designs and give their own opinion and flare.

I was pleasantly surprised with Krystal who got my shape perfect and was giving me input on which colors I should use for contrast purposes. At first, I felt like she was rushing, but she told me she’s done nails for 11 years and prefers to move quickly. I love a nail tech who allows me to relax and trust them with my vision. Anyway, we began to have a conversation about children. She asked me where my baby was and told me she remembered me from the last time I was there. (I see a different nail tech each time, they’re all really good at this nail shop.) I asked her if she had any children and was surprised to hear that she didn’t. Almost every nail tech Ive ever had has multiple children, unless they’re really young. They always ask first if you have children and mention family or a husband as a conversation starter. Little did I know Krystal was about to teach me a few things about her experience in Vietnamese culture.

Over the course of 45 minutes, she explained to me that she moved away from Vietnam with her husband many years ago. She said she didn’t have any interest in having children, because she never got pregnant. She began the conversation with saying that children were too expensive, and that childbirth takes a toll on the body. She also had reservations about how long you have to be responsible for your children. I could tell there was so much more to this, but I just let her speak. We made eye contact often as she vented to me about her perspective on parenthood. After she gave me a list of reasons she “didn’t want” kids she then expressed to me that they had been trying for a long time but a baby never came. She told me she was 38, and that she felt her time had run out. She said that in Vietnam where she’s from, a woman who has no kids is deemed useless and a disgrace. It was wild to me that we were having such an intense conversation with a major language barrier between us. I understood everything she said even though her English was broken.

I asked her how the Vietnamese families feel about women who simply cannot have children, and she responded “they think- bad human.” She suggested that they feel you’re cursed and have nothing to give as a person. I could see the hurt in her eyes as she continued on with my nails. She told me her husband had no desire for kids or even a pet, but I think this is his way of comforting her. This conversation really put things into perspective for me. It made me realize how much women outside of the United States deal with in their own cultures. It made me think of how much work they would have to do to get as much “freedom” as we have here. Freedom is a really hard word to use because thats not what we have, maybe privilege is a little more fitting - I don’t know. Mentally, I was in shambles when I left the nail shop. There are so many layers to femininity and womanhood.

I felt grateful, to be a mother and experience such a blessing. I felt sad, that she may not get the chance and has convinced herself she does not want children in order to deal with the disappointment. Sad that Vietnamese women are under such scrutiny if they don’t want kids. I reassured her that, there are hard parts of parenting. There are some days you wonder what life would be like if you didn’t have a child. I reminded her of all the things her and her husband don’t really have to bother with as a couple with no children. I reassured her that its okay and normal to not want/ or be able to have children. She thanked me for our conversation and that was that. A therapy and self care session for us both.

CURATOR HIGHLIGHT - INTERVIEW WITH ARTIST DAE LEE (@DAEIZM)

Today I am sharing an interview with writer/artist Dae Lee, also known as DAEIZM. I chose to highlight Dae because he is one of the most authentic young writers I’ve come across over the years. His vulnerability, honesty and transparency is refreshing and admirable. I started following him a few years ago via social media when I lived in Los Angeles and I’ve been connected to his work ever since. Writing is such a personal form of art, it’s letting others into your heart and mind. To me, his words have so much depth and relatability. It is important for writers of color to have courage when creating art, and Dae is the perfect example of that. I thought it would be nice to get to know Dae more as a human instead of just an artist. Let’s jump right into the interview.  

 LadyFox - I’ve known you as an amazing writer for many years, and recently discovered your podcast Entropy & Dae (which I love), do you have any other artistic outlets we should know about?

Dae - Thank you so much! I really appreciate your work! I also make digital illustrations, as well as edit and design on the side. My book cover along with 2 others were designed by me.

LadyFox - What are some of the feelings that are attached to releasing something as big as a book ? - sharing something so sacred with the world ?

  Dae - A lot of it was in the name of both purpose and vulnerability. For me, that was something on my mind for quite a bit, becoming an author. It took years  and a lot of changes in my life for it to come to fruition, but the writing took - I would say maybe a year and a half. A lot of it, just like pretty much all of my work comes from a need to release and find a cathartic solution. It’s scary — but at the same time, I work on not thinking about how others receive it and how it stacks against other people’s works. You really just have to do it for yourself cause the rest of it is just a bonus.

LadyFox -Do you remember the moment or chapter of your life when you realized that writing was something you needed to do ?

 Dae- Writing has always been In my life, from storytelling, journaling to poetry and prose. I always look to understand my feelings and thoughts better through writing ,so it was really natural for me to a point that I didn’t always gravitate to the idea of pursuing it professionally until I was 21. I wanted to write something, but was busy working and felt I wouldn't have the time to actualize it until later in life. But once I got injured on the job, it changed the direction of my life in a way that sort of forced the time onto me; and here we are.

LadyFox -What are three songs you listen to on a consistent basis ?

Dae -That’s a tough one, i’m always listening to music because I enjoy making playlists— I’d go with “It’s Whatever” by Jean Deaux, “N Side” by Steve Lacy, and “RIP Fredo” by Playboi Carti ft Young Nudy. I also play The Internet every day and Frank, Smino, Iman Omari, Burna Boy, Ari Lennox, Knxwledge., Chynna, Earl Sweatshirt and BbyMutha. along with so many others, I couldn’t stick to three, haha.

LadyFox- This is a question I ask a lot but, - What does a perfect day look like for you ? 

 Dae- A perfect day for me is new music, great herb, creative & physical energy to make something new.

LadyFox -What is your definition of love ?

Dae -Intentional action meeting care, trust, sincerity and autonomy.

LadyFox -What is your favorite thing about being a Pisces ? (I'm a Pisces too- shoutout to us)

Dae- Shoutout to Pisces! And I think our capacity to care is one of my favorite things about us. A lot of people don’t know that we’re pretty enigmatic when it comes to our personality types. We can be just as cold as we are warm, just as selfish as we are giving, so I guess both our capacity to care and ability to adapt and transform.

LadyFox -What does community mean to you ? Do you realize that you are influencing the community with your art ? (This is a two for one)

 Dae -Community for me means both creating and holding space for others to water and cultivate each other.  and thank you for thinking so! Haha —I feel like one of my purposes here is to show people that they can make space(s) to explore their vulnerability, emotionally and creatively— and still feel like themselves, because all of this is a part of us. I think it’s important that we find ways to articulate our feelings even if it’s just for ourselves.

LadyFox- What are some of your go-to self care rituals ?

Dae- My go to is always to focus on my breath and make sure that I’m breathing through my diaphragm correctly. If I’m able to, I just like to be to myself and put the music on shuffle, whether it’s a playlist I just made and I’m still working on or I’m searching for something new and diving into their world.  if it’s during the night time I usually like to sit outside and just look into the sky whether it’s the moon or just planes passing by, (there’s always planes passing by in Inglewood). I like the way the air feels at night, it’s very calming and if I have the chance, I go to a beach for it to feel even better. After that I like to indulge in finding different music to listen to or finding different anime to watch.

LadyFox -What is your experience as a black creative in the present day ?

Dae- As a black creative I’d say there’s a need for me to be both aware and autonomous. So many of us are here and serve different purposes and I think it’s best to find our calling in our contributions. They’re not always monolithic, but they all can matter. My desire is to always work closely with other black creatives but also knowing that there are nuances within each community is even more important to know what speaks to you.

LadyFox- I love reading your words that speak of love. What are three things you look for in a partner?

Dae -With any partner I’m always looking for an honest and deep connection that respects and celebrates each other. I’m grateful to have that, and also have the love to express it and also share and experience that with others.

LadyFox -Where are you from/based ?

Dae- I’m from the LA area, primarily in Inglewood. My family is from this area (Inglewood) so I moved  back here about six years ago and it’s been Home since.

LadyFox -What is something that can make you smile, without a doubt ?

Dae -a baby laughing and trying to walk but falling down. Guaranteed to make me laugh every single time. Or a cat video, and if they’re fighting a person its over, haha.

LadyFox- What is your favorite snack ?

Dae- My favorite snack is Snickers. Only the 2-in-1, haha.

or Pineapple.

LadyFox- Last but not least, what is the best way to support you ? Buying your work? Listening to your podcast ? Reposting your words ? Let us know.

Dae - All of the above ! Find me on Instagram: @Daeizm

My Podcast, “Entropy & Dae”, where I talk about emotions if you’re into that is available on Apple Podcast & Spotify, or the Anchor app!

For my poetry book, MARIGOLD, as well as poetry prints for sale—you can find it on: daeizm.bigcartel.com

I hope you guys enjoyed this interview and feel a little closer to Dae. Thank you again for sharing and being so open. I can’t wait to see the things you have in store for the future. Stay tuned for the next curator highlight !

AUGUST - HIGHLIGHTING BLACK CURATORS AND COMMUNITY WORKERS

HAPPY AUGUST ! I am so excited for a new month, I love fresh starts. August is really special because I’ll be doing highlights of my favorite curators and community workers of color. There are so many people “doing the work” for the black community who don’t get enough acknowledgement. This is something that I’d like to change. Every week this month, Ill be highlighting a new artist/writer/business owner/creative with an exclusive interview right here on LADYFOX. Interviewing is a form of writing that I love because, you can really get to know someone that way. Theres something so fresh and natural about an interview, allowing someone to have a voice about their passions. The people I chose are all special and it was really hard to only choose four. I chose the most consistent, organic and humble people who just do the work without expecting anything in return.

HAPPY AND HIKING

Turner falls is one of the most beautiful places I’ve been in months. Ive only seen a waterfall a few times in my life and this one exceeded my expectations. I haven’t hiked regularly since we lived in California so it felt great. I will say that hiking is a little bit different when you have a toddler. I used my MOBY to carry Phoenix throughout the hike, and he felt asleep about 20 minutes in. Hiking is something I enjoy doing because it is a physical and spiritual form of exercise much like yoga is. I used to DREAM of hiking with my baby wrapped onto me. Moments like these have definitely come from years of manifesting.

This morning we woke up at 4:30am and drove about an hour and a half to Davis, Oklahoma where Turner Falls resides. Its a halfway point between Dallas and Oklahoma. I always plan to be the first person at tourist attractions because I don’t like heavily populated spaces. I am more at peace when nature appears to be desolate and untouched. Also, it is blazing hot, so we wanted to enjoy the water without too much heat. When we first arrived, we were a little hesitant to get in the water because it was kinda intimidating. We had no idea how deep it was, but eventually Troy got in and risked it all ! Before you know it, we were having the time of our lives. The weather was amazing and there was a nice breeze. The water was blue, you could see your feet and legs clearly underwater. There were tiny fish and turtles in the water as well. We splashed and had beer and fruit and took plenty of pictures.

After a couple hours, the park was pretty packed. We decided to hike up the mountain and explore a little bit before heading home. The hike was about level 2 in difficulty, pretty manageable. Luckily, Ive been doing a lot of cardio, so I was able to keep up even carrying Phoenix. There were caves, viewpoints and other water areas to float.

I definitely want to come back with family and friends. There are cabins available and I scoped out some airbnbs on the drive home. We paid about $30 to enter the park and it was well worth it. Especially because you get to bring whatever you want inside. We kept it light but tons of people had coolers, chairs and tents. Next time, i’m going big. One thing that was a little concerning was the amount of trash scattered about. When we first arrived I picked up all the trash that I could. It was heartbreaking to see that people were this careless about such a beautiful gift. Next time, I will bring a bag so that I can pick up more. We have to take care of this earth.

Getting out in nature is really good for my family. We spend a lot of time going from work to our apartment during the week and we all needed that fresh air. No workout in the gym can compare to the workout I got today, so Im happy about that. I hope you get the opportunity to get out into nature this summer with your people. Once piece of advice I can give you is to keep going and don’t think too hard when you’re hiking. Its so easy to want to give up or turn around but its always worth it in the end.

FINDING JOY IN THE SMALL THINGS

Sometimes on my lunch break I go to the thrift store and wander around. I found a cute little bowl, a vintage ash tray, a really nice New Mexico-ish clay vase, and a cool shirt that ill make into a crop top. I think I spent four dollars total. I got lost in this store and had to speed back to work before my hour was up. Lately, Ive been prioritizing my needs a lot. My one hour lunch break has been a nice time to read or nap, even shop if I want to. For some reason, less guilt comes with keeping this 60 minutes all to myself.

The second half of summer is still quite eventful. Ive been planning for my partner and I’s five year anniversary. Ive been really into redecorating our apartment and upgrading a lot of furniture. I have been working out four to five times a week as well. I am in a really creative space right now and have ideas flying out of my soul non stop. I want to remind you, when you’re feeling really creative and have an idea. Stop what you’re doing and write down your thought and idea before you lose it. You will not remember it the same when you try. The intensity of it won’t be the same and the delivery won’t be the same. If you side step your vision, the universe will assume it isn’t the right time. Im catching ALL OF MINE.

As I’ve said before 2019 feels really special. She is different, she is fearless and a downright savage. A lot of my joy has come from being intentional about every little thing. Smiling as I peruse the thrift store and enjoying that time. Slowly eating a plum that is equally sour and sweet and being thankful for it. Standing on my feet, even when I am tired to make myself a satisfying meal without skipping those extra steps that make it taste so good. All things are abundant if you believe they are.

PHOENIX BRINGS COACHELLA TO TEXAS FOR 2ND BIRTHDAY

Last weekend we celebrated Phoenix’s second birthday, “P-Chella”. When deciding on themes for his parties, we like to do the unexpected for a kids party. Last year, the theme for his birthday was a DIY kickback, which was in the evening (because Texas summers are blazing.) But it was a hit ! Phoenix only has about 4 baby cousins/friends, so I like to produce themes and an atmosphere thats fun for the adults too. Phoenix and his dads birthday fall 6 days apart, so we generally celebrate them both at the same time.

I don’t like to spend a lot of money on parties, so creativity is a must to execute a nice function. The most expensive thing was probably the Airbnb we rented, which was perfect for the theme. The space was a really laid back guest home in The Heights area of Houston. Lots of tree shade, style, and eclectic decor. I searched for an Airbnb with a pool, because Phoenix loves the water. All of the cool Coachella stays have a nice pool set up. This pool also had a slide, which was a nice feature. When we arrived, I was pleasantly surprised by the pool area which gave us tons of space to transform. The pool was chlorine free, with natural salt water which was refreshing. Most Airbnb hosts don’t allow parties, so I had to do a little finessing to make this happen.

His party started at 4pm, all of our friends and family trickled in and we ate, drank and swam. We listened to music and really just enjoyed each others company. I am still looking back at the pictures and videos wishing I could rewind. Giving my son awesome birthday parties is something I take pride in. I love birthdays ! Everyone doesn’t get to always see the next age, or progress to a new year. Life is a celebration and I want him to look back when he’s older and see how much he’s celebrated. I will always go hard for my babies birthday !

If you are thinking of throwing a party for your kid soon here are some mom hacks :

• Buy a helium tank and blow up your own balloons. This is cheaper than ordering balloons from Party City by the dozen, and you can pick your own cool custom balloons. Last year we used two helium tanks, this year we only needed one because we had a smaller space.

• DIY a party banner. This will save you money on unnecessary decor and add personalization. We had two banners this year, one inside and one outside, The P-Chella sign really brought the aesthetic together. Get some paint and buy a roll of wrapping paper. I made both of these signs in less than 15 minutes.

• Put cool stuff in party bags, don’t waste money on tiny plastic dinosaurs or noisemakers because they will disappear before the kids even get home. This year, instead of pre-making party bags we had empty bags that kids put their piñata candy in. We also put out play-doe, sunglasses, lollipops and bubbles. This way parents can select what they want their child to have. You also avoid food allergies. Its fun for kids to pick the specific items to add to their bags on the way out. This also eliminates meltdowns from having to leave.

• Don’t be afraid of the dollar store ! - I got streamers and other nicnacs from Dollar Tree. Go to dollar stores first, get what you need or what grabs your eye and then go to Target and Party stores last. I am a sucker for target, but I refuse to get everything from there.

• SPLURGE ON FOOD, ALCOHOL AND YOUR OUTFIT - If you look good, you feel good. This goes for you and your child. You can more confidently entertain if you look good. Any party my family has is a nice turn up, so make sure the drinks are flowing. Lastly food, make sure you have enough. This year I bought a lot of groceries and things that could be made in the oven. I think every party should have a fruit tray, cheese and crackers tray, a colorful salad and vegan options. We went for a compilation of pizza, tamales, wings, chicken strips. Troy loves the vegan Oreo cake at Whole Foods, so I picked that up and my mom brought cupcakes.

• WAKE UP EARLY - Make sure you give yourself enough time to prepare for the party so you aren’t scrambling around before it starts. Honestly, you could have the best decorations and expensive venue, but if the vibes aren’t right then it means nothing.

• Most importantly - Have fun, so much preparation goes into parties, have fun and let loose. After all, you’ve succeeded at another year of parenthood.

Two is such a special age, we’ve been singing happy birthday to Phoenix for the past 6 months. We wanted him to have somewhat of an understanding of what was going on. I am so excited for next year, because he will KNOW it’s his day. I hand-made his invitations with so much love in my heart. I thought it was so cute to see a lot of people dressed for the Coachella theme.

At the end of the night once everyone left, we just relaxed and a couple friends stayed and hung out. We watched tv with the Roku stick and I opened Phoenixs gifts and snacked. The whole day was beautiful and we were TIRED.

Thank you for reading ! Comment below if you have anymore tips to add to the mom hack list. Also, what are some traditions you have in your family for birthdays ?

BIRTH STORY IN HONOR OF CANCER SEASON

I began to have mild contractions at home on 4th of July evening. I made tacos and Troy had come home early from work. I was pacing around the house a lot, googling birth and contraction facts. My dog Kane was pacing too ! The pains I had were faint, but grew by the hour. They began to happen closer together and became more intense. Once my contractions were really painful I kept feeling the urge to sit on the toilet, so I did (a million times). We had already gone to the doctor 2 days prior because I could feel Phoenix coming. They told me he wouldn’t be arriving anytime soon but I knew otherwise. He wasn’t due for another week.

My water broke with a LOUD pop sound right there on the toilet. My “hospital bag” was semi packed. We grabbed a few more things we needed and got in the car. By then, my contractions were CRAZY. The drive to the hospital was a dark , LENGTHY eighteen minutes. My water broke twice in the car (we had no towels). There was water everywhere. With that, came more pain. Troy was driving pretty fast, I felt every bump in the cement on the way there. At the time, I was thinking about the pain ahead and how much pushing may hurt. I was praying all the lights would stay green as we approached. My sweatpants were soaked and Troy and I were both nervous. The ride to the hospital was definitely a movie scene. At the red lights, I would glance over at Troy wondering how different our lives would be after all of this.

A lot of the check-in process and procedures were honestly a blur. When we got in the hospital we couldn’t remember where the labor area was, even though we’d taken a tour a month prior. I was in labor for almost a full day. There was a lot of sleeping and waking back up, then sleeping some more. I was on several different medications which caused me to shiver uncontrollably. My mom made me tea and we just talked and I slept many hours. I wanted my experience to be calm. I am a private person and I didn’t want many people there when I gave birth. My mom flew in from Texas, so it was just us three. Looking back, Im really glad I did it that way.

Even though my water had broken Phoenix was taking his time entering the world. We were glad because we didn’t want him to share his birth day with “Independence Day”. Finally after 20 something hours, it was time to push. I asked for the lights to be out, so there was only one tiny spotlight above my bed. I held my legs with a cool towel over my face and after 30 minutes of pushing, there was my son. Pushing took real strength. Strength I didn’t know I had. The release I felt when he finally was out of my body felt like freedom and lightening. He came out silent but his eyes were open and he was checking us all out. The moment was really emotional and happy. An exhilarating happiness. When he came out, he had rich chocolate skin. He was beautiful. Bringing him earth-side was my biggest accomplishment ever.

Here's a special shot from when I was pregnant (on our babymoon) and when Phoenix was a day or two old. Now our baby is almost TWO YEARS OLD.

What three words would you use to describe your birth experience?

IGOR FOR PRESIDENT

Right now I am obsessed with Tyler the Creator’s new album “Igor”. I listen to it everyday - all day. In the future when I hear this album I bet it’ll remind me of this season, which I love. My favorite tracks are “Earfquake” (DUH), “Igors Theme”, “Running Out Of Time”, “Puppet”, “I Don’t Love You Anymore”, and lastly “Are We Still Friends”. Basically the whole album. I can listen to this on the way to work, while i’m cleaning up or in the shower. This album is one big love story and I love this soft side of Tyler. There are a lot of people who feel indifferent about the album, but it’s because they don’t understand it. Igor is more than an album, its an experience.

CONSCIOUS CONSUMERISM X THRIFTING

I wanted to open the dialogue about conscious consumerism, fast fashion, and minimalism. Conscious consumerism considers the social, environmental, and political impact of the products being bought. Often times, we buy things without considering how it effects the earth. We don’t think about who we’re supporting when we make certain purchases. There are companies we buy from every week that use underage and underpaid children in sweatshops across the globe to produce clothing in mass amounts. These clothes are then sold to people like us, by someone who is very wealthy and depending on our dollar to keep them that way. We spend twenty and forty dollars (or more) every week due to their appealing branding and advertising. These 20 and 40 dollar items are poorly made, will only last two washes, so then we return to purchase more. This is fast fashion.

Conscious consumerism is making the effort to buy things that increase your quality of life. This can look like buying things you love and filling your wardrobe with pieces that look good on you, fit well and will last a lifetime. Conscious consumerism can look like buying things that are ethically made. I cannot yet afford a collection of ethically made clothing, but if I could I’d have a closet full. Another popular option is shopping local, or from small business which is an awesome way to support community. A cheaper way to consume consciously is thrifting. Buy clothes that people are recycling for your use, this makes it affordable for you and the earth ! My favorite thing about thrifting is the one of a kind pieces that you won’t see on anyone else.

Thrifting has always been something I enjoyed. My thrifting journey began in high school when I started to define my personal style. This is a hobby I’ve enjoyed for over ten years ! My relationship with it has evolved over time and now I feel like I’m a pro at it. When I first started to thrift I would buy EVERYTHING I liked, because it was so cheap. Eventually when I got to college, I realized my whole wardrobe was filled with things I didn’t like anymore, couldn’t fit, had a hole in it. I would buy things that were too big and say “I’ll just get it tailored”, but I never did.

I learned to have more discernment when thrifting. Now when I thrift, I ask myself a few questions. How often can I wear this ? Is this a statement piece or a daily wear piece ? Is it good quality? I treat the thrift store like a regular store and shop as I normally would instead of having the “everything is cheap” mentality. Ive become very strict on what I allow into my wardrobe, it is very sacred to me. I average one or two items per visit when thrift shopping. I’ve learned to mix my thrifted pieces with high end pieces to build my capsule. I would say my closet is 50 percent thrifted and 50 percent high end. Most of my shoes and tops are high end, leaving bottoms and dresses to mostly be thrifted. This is a concept I discovered when committing to minimalism.

My wardrobe is small. I wear the same things over and over but in different combinations. My clothing lasts forever because it is well made. Its either a heavy duty, vintage piece or something new, kinda pricey and carefully crafted. The only downside to this is that you can’t dump all of your clothes into the washer, you really have to gently wash your clothes. In these pictures I have on a vintage one piece leotard that I’ve had for at least 7 years and a thrifted skirt I got this year. My shoes are expensive, but were a gift from my boyfriend. I wouldn’t spend over $120 on ANY shoe. My earrings and rings are quite expensive but I do wear them almost everyday.

I will post soon about basics/capsule collections for those wanting to focus on the foundation of their closet.

MEJURI COLLABORATION & "DOING THE WORK"

I was very happy to receive my next piece from Mejuri. They sent me the ‘Layered Spheres Necklace’ and I am absolutely in love with it. This necklace really highlights my collarbone because of the almost choker length. The design of this necklace is gorgeous. I love the simplicity of the piece, and also the subtle texture of the spheres. This is going to be a summer favorite.

June has come with so much spiritual and emotional growth for me. I want to talk about DOING THE WORK and its relation to coming into your higher self. Doing the work is acknowledging and preparing to become the best version of yourself that you could possibly be. For me, doing the work consisted of the following things :

• Looking back into my past and reflecting on how my experiences as a child effected who I am today. I wrote down everything I could remember about my childhood and I had separate conversations with my parents about childhood experiences, homes we lived in and certain questions I had. This allowed me to understand why I made certain decisions and how I was introduced to certain emotions.

• Making a list of things I want to accomplish, developing a plan to execute them and then celebrating the small wins along the way.

• BEING PRODUCTIVE, productivity is a big part of my self care. If I utilize my time poorly I feel really bad about it. When I have a productive day, I feel really good about myself. Ways I encourage myself to be productive is staying hydrated, eating when I need to, keeping my toddler satisfied and putting effort into my appearance. These things will keep me energized and in a mindset to get things done.

• Letting myself feel hurt and sad. Allowing myself to cry when I want to cry. Feel those painful things. That way it can just pass instead of rushing my way through. The only way out is through.

• Staying true to myself. Saying no when I want to say no, letting people know when they’ve crossed a boundary of mine. Removing myself from uncomfortable situations. Not feeling guilty for choosing myself.

• LISTENING TO MY INTUITION has made life so much more abundant for me. In the past I would hear my intuition loud and clear, but ignore it because I was moving too fast to digest the directions. Choosing to live a calmer lifestyle with less obligations to things I don’t really subscribe to has allowed me to have a relationship with myself, and naturally my intuition.

There are so many more things than this, but this is the list of my work. Being consistent has helped me avoid depression and so much anxiety that I felt before. I can feel happy cells dancing around in my body. This is the happiest I’ve been consistently in a long time. I know this joy has come from doing the work. Doing the work is a trash phase, it hurts, you don’t look cute, you’re not glowing and you don’t feel creative. When you overcome you pretty much levitate into such a grateful mind state and the simplest things keep you happy. I know that bad days will come but I am equipped to handle them. I have the tools, now.

If you know you need to do the work, start today. It really never ends, but life just gets better and better. I am here to help if you need it. What does doing the work look like to you ? Comment below

JUNE IS GROOVY

Summer is here and it feels really good. Not the heat itself, but the sudden change and energy that comes with warmth. All of a sudden, theres a more laid back approach to life. Summer brings more naps, more cold drinks, less clothing, and time outdoors. A lot of change is coming with the summer this year. We have a lot of important decisions to make and there’s something to do every weekend it seems like. Summer is a “fun” busy and I hope it continues.

Right now, I am planning a second birthday for Phoenix. I feel confident in my party planning skills, which I think I get from my mother. I love to host, and decorate for celebrations. I’ve always considered myself quite festive. This year, his birthday is Coachella themed. I am very excited to share the content for that next month.

May 3rd I learned that I passed my certification to become a High School English teacher. I have been in this program for a little over a year. I didn’t make an announcement about it at first because I like to quietly accomplish things I am passionate about. My vision and my goals are really sacred to me until they unfold. In my past, Ive learned that sometimes its best to keep your dreams to yourself. If you share your dreams, this allows people to put their own thoughts about your goals into the universe. It also allows people to project their fears onto you. If I failed, I wanted to fail in peace without judgement until I had the strength to try again. Ive never been a good test taker but I passed with flying colors and I WEPT when I received the email.

Studying with a baby is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It just makes me realize how much I COULD have been doing before he got here. My family and friends were happy for me and most importantly, I was happy for myself. Now I am trying to figure out the best way to slide into my career while still balancing my family and the rest of the goals I have set for myself, life is sweet.

Its surreal to see how fast this year is flying by. I was so serious this year about goal setting, and following through and making self alterations that would positively effect me long term. The older I get the better I understand the concept of time. The year is halfway gone and I have accomplished a lot. When New Years comes this year, I want to be proud of 2019. So far, so good.

If you have come this far into the year and feel unproductive you still have 6 months left to turn things around. Your whole life could change in half a year. Write down your goals and get to it. Its really that simple.

Last weekend I wanted to wear something simple but still give a summer vibe. We went to brunch and did some Whole Foods grocery shopping (this is a special every now and then grocery splurge.) My top is thrifted, skirt is from Zara. My shoes are from Madewell as well as my earrings !

What is your favorite part about the summer so far and do you feel proud of your progress this year ?

UNCONVENTIONAL THERAPY

The past week & a half has been a little challenging. Troy went out of town for work and its been just Phoenix and I. Every time we are without his dad for an extended amount of time I am reminded of how things would be if I were a single mother. There is so much to do and so little time to do it when you have no help. I am kinda proud of myself as this experience is coming to an end. I was able to keep us both alive, fed and happy for the most part. We rested most of the weekend but Sunday evening I decided to get out of the house.

One of my favorite self love practices are to go to stores I love and try things on. The most beautiful and lavish things that I cannot yet afford. We went to Anthropologie and I tried on several bathing suits and dresses. There is something really satisfying about seeing new colors and prints on my skin. Sometimes I do fall in love with pieces I have to go back for on payday. Oftentimes, the browsing and trying things on is enough therapy for me. Phoenix let me peacefully try on each bathing suit as he watched his Ipad. I remember being in fitting rooms as a little girl with my fashionista Granny who was always shopping ! This feeling was nostalgic for me.

As I tried on each bathing suit I took time to appreciate my physical being and all it has brought me through. Sometimes you have to give yourself a fashion show.

As individuals we all have our odd self care activities that just work for us! Exploring and getting out of the house is usually all I need. What are some unconventional self practices you do for yourself ?

SUNDAYS AT THE CAROUSEL <3

One of the coolest things about parenthood are all the firsts. Your child’s first words, first basketball game, first anything really is a big deal. This day was Phoenix’s first time riding the carousel, although he wasn’t impressed at all ! It reminded me of his first birthday where he barely cracked a smile the entire party. His dad and I enjoyed it though. Im excited for when he’s a teenager and we look back on these pictures together and I tell him what he was like as a baby. This carousel downtown was only four bucks for all three of us to ride. I will miss how kid friendly and financially minimal Oklahoma City is once we move. Its so easy to have an effortless, stress free day here. Sunday is our day where we try to get out as family and do something cute ! What are some weekly rituals you and your family share ?

MEJURI COLLABORATION + COFFEE RUN <3

I was really excited when Mejuri reached out to me recently about a possible collaboration. I love their minimal jewelry and working with them was a dream before this opportunity came. They sent me some options of pieces to choose from. I chose the “Daisy Medallion” necklace. I wore it for the first time on a coffee run to my favorite local shop in OKC “Leaf and Bean”. This brand is parallel with my style.

Outfit Deets :

Earrings: Madewell

Necklace : Mejuri :)

Top : BCBG Maxazria

Pants : American Apparel

Shoes: Urban Outfitters

Bag : Thrifted

See all Mejuri has to offer at www.Mejuri.com

NIPSEY FOR THE CULTURE & MELANCHOLY VIBES CONTINUED

Photograph by Awol Erizku

This week was my first time actually being “sad” this year. Sunday, Nipsey Hussle was shot and killed and it effected me in the darkest way. Celebrity deaths usually don’t have this big of an effect on me emotionally. I think maybe considering his significant other made me sad. He was only 33 years old, and he had kids. To me, it seemed like they were getting right where they wanted to be as a family. They were just starting to be acknowledged from all the silent moves they’d been making. They just did a FLAWLESS GQ SPREAD promoting black love. Couple interviews, and rumored to have gotten married low-key and out of public eye. They just moved so gracefully which is unexpected from superstar rappers & actresses. You could see how much they loved each other and how happy they were. I can’t imagine experiencing such a loss in the midst of a winning season. On Monday when I woke up and remembered he really died, a dark cloud was over my entire day. I could not shake the feeling I had. It felt like I’d lost a friend.

A few weeks ago, I was at work listening to a bunch of his interviews on Youtube to pass time and he really inspired me. I remember telling Troy about the knowledge I took away from him. Not even a month later, gone. I never really listened to his music, but his interviews were such a gift to me. Him, Two Chains and 21 Savage are so good at interviews and articulating life in such a relatable way. I wasn’t the same after listening to his words, he made me wanna go harder and follow through with my endeavors. His death was a reminder of how fragile life is. It made me feel guilty of thing things I take for granted and honestly just made me feel robbed, unsettled and scared. I had to take some time away from social media because his face is everywhere. The headlines were too much. I am obviously not the only one who is mourning this tragedy in this way. In general a lot of my worries and anxiety come from fear of time, his death placed my fears at my feet.

I am glad I got to see him in concert twice. He just had so much heart. I feel like he was a sacrifice for our generation and for black culture. I know I wasn’t the only one taking notes from him and I’ll forever be grateful for his knowledge. In one particular interview, he talked about how one should take the time to figure out who they are. Get to know yourself relentlessly, find out what you believe in and then live and die by that. These words really stuck with me and have been all I can think about.

This week having some time away from social media has allowed me to monitor my emotions closely. Ive been a little more present at work and at home as well. Last week, I did a pretty good job at eating clean, resting and processing thoughts. Sometimes I forget how simple life is until I take a break from social media where I am overexposed to so many things daily. I do really like social media, I love the creative space and platform. I get a lot of inspiration from Instagram but, I also think its easy to forget your perspective when you are constantly absorbing everyone else’s point of view. A break here and there allows you to come back to yourself for a moment.

Today is one week since he was killed, I am feeling more accepting. I hope this week feels lighter and more positive, Im sure thats what he would want. What is your relationship with death like ? How do you mourn losses that are near or distant ?

MELANCHOLY FRIDAY x PREGNANCY REFLECTION

Today I am feeling a little put off. It is the weekend and pay day but I cannot shake this rut I am in. I was looking online at this bag I want to buy, but was being indecisive as hell about it so I gave up. Recently, I did one of those “ask me something” buttons on Instagram and it was really interesting. I would love to be more of an open person, so I thought that would be a small way to start. It seems that people are most interested in my experience with pregnancy-motherhood/having a family.

In answering the questions related to pregnancy I realized how much I don’t remember about being pregnant. My experience wasn’t that long ago, but a lot of it seems like a big blur. Also the first four months of Phoenix’s life are kind of a blur too.

Honestly the brain fog just went away a few months ago. There was a long time where I just forgot a lot of things about myself. Like, what kind of music I like or what my favorite snacks are. I didn’t realize how actually disconnected I was from myself for so long. I really wasn’t interested in fashion or excited about clothes. I think I was so focused on growing and learning to be a mother that I subconsciously pushed my interests to the back of my mind. I didn’t have a big preference about anything having to do with myself.

Side Note : As I am typing this Phoenix is on the other end of the couch laughing hysterically at his show. This is new. He now knows what is funny to him and finds things humorous. Before he would kinda just gaze at his shows but now he has an understanding of the shows plot and a real human reaction to it. That is WILD to me.

Anyway, Now I have such a preference on things that didn’t matter for so long. I think when I have my second child, my experience will be a little less shocking to my mind. I will know what to expect to a certain extent. I think I will read less and obsess less over baby information and try to be more present mentally. Maybe this fog cannot be avoided, but I think I can be tapered.

This picture was taken by Troy, he took a picture of the sunrise while we were in the car. I was asleep and when I woke up, he’d sent this to me. This is the abstract romance that I live for.

Im gonna go clean. I hope all is well with you guys and that you have a refreshing weekend. Spring is amongst us.

FAMILY TRIP TO NEW MEXICO

New Mexico is hands down one of my favorite states to visit. This was our second time going and I can’t wait to go back again. A lot of people confuse Mexico and New Mexico. New Mexico is a south western desert state wedged between Texas, Colorado, Arizona and Mexico. The small town we visit is called Abiquiu which is about 53 miles away from Santa Fe. In general New Mexico is known for its vibrant art scene, and is also known as the “Land of Enchantment”. The mountains and ducked off, desolate vibes is what I love. There’s barely any cell phone reception which encourages you to relax and take it easy for a couple of days. There is so much history and spirituality there.

This time, Phoenix (who wasn’t born yet last time) and my close friend of ten years accompanied Troy and I. We took an 8 hour drive from Oklahoma City to New Mexico which was more and more beautiful the closer we got. The main thing on my agenda was to visit the Georgia O Keefe home and studio. Georgia was a famous American artist and it was really surreal to be in her home. She had such a strong sense of style and design. Unfortunately, no photos were allowed on the tour. I’ve never seen a home this eclectic. There are plenty of photos online if you’re interested in checking it out. She passed away in 1986 at the age of 98. Georgia was an adventurous, and brilliant woman. I felt her presence as we explored throughout her home.

I knew a trip to New Mexico was the perfect speed for us, having a toddler. Traveling is completely different as a parent. I was happy to have my homegirls company as she is such a good aunt to Phoenix. Its comforting to have friends around you who will help you buckle the baby into the carseat or entertain him while you get dressed. I am very thankful and fortunate to have friends who are active in my sons life. I always wanted a sister, and never got one. All of my close girlfriends are a mixture of the ideal sister.

We mainly ate, relaxed and did some light exploring. Our Airbnb was a gorgeous adobe home filled with art and everything you could possibly need for a bomb getaway. New Mexico has some amazing thrift stores and shops. We also had a chance to go hiking in our little village.

It is important to me for Phoenix to travel, even as a young person. I love making memories with my friends and family. New Mexico is a hidden gem.

Here are some memories from the trip :)