FOR MOTHERS WITH BLACK CHILDREN

WOW ! What a time to be alive !!! I am conflicted with feelings of sorrow and liberation. So much of the current events break my heart to see. At the same time, I’ve been given the opportunity to scream how I feel from the rooftops. I am someone who supports and embodies black lives matter - every single day that I wake up. Being a black mother, educator, writer and woman is a DAILY protest. I want to provide comfort and a safe space for black mothers who feel overwhelmed or alone at this time.

Before our children even get here - we are thinking of ways to protect them. Before their innocent souls arrive, they are already in danger. From the moment we step foot in hospitals -we are compromised. We experience prejudice in spaces where we are supposed to be safe. We are forced into unnecessary c-sections and given more drugs than necessary. Our children are plotted against in the educational system. One of my biggest reasons for becoming a teacher is because black children deserve educators who look like them. THIS IS ESSENTIAL. If you are a black mother right now and you feel helpless, please know that all you need to do to make a difference is pour love into your children. Thats it !

Let your children know how beautiful and powerful their skin is. Get down on the ground with them and play. Get to know their tiny little interests and add value to their existence. I don’t think its beneficial to speak on black matters without offering solutions and a way of change.

If and when I have more children, I will see a doula and midwife of color. Our children are so valuable and deserve the best treatment from the very start. Energetically our children deserve more. Soon I will share more information about doulas in major cities so we can create more of a community around this.

Updated list of Doulas/Midwives : Crimson Fig Midwifery, Sakina Midwifery, Doula Viva Births, SuperMamma Birth Services, Roots Community Birth Center, Positive Perinatal NYC, Houston based : Sankofamama

Right now, I am spending time nurturing my family extra. I am taking my time making meals and creating memories even in a racial war and pandemic. I want to remind black mothers to keep hope alive. I want to remind black mothers that growth requires pain. As a people we are growing.

Black motherhood community : Mater Mea

Relatable mom podcasts to listen to : @goodmomsbadchoices

Positive/inspiring writer and mama on IG: @alex_elle

Positive black media on fashion/health/beauty/lifestyle : @alltheprettybirds / alltheprettybirds

Black educator : @valencia_valencia

BLACK GIRL MAGIC, unapologetic IG accounts to follow : @marjon_carlos, @s_heyink , @spicy.mayo, @meccajw, @rachel.cargle

I want black mothers to take this time to ground themselves and process information. One feeling we don’t have to feel is confusion. Take this time to connect with other black women, and connect each other to positive and helpful resources. Take this time to try new recipes and figure out ways to refresh life at this time. This is OUR TIME. Feel free to share experiences, words of encouragement or some concerns you may have. I am here to listen.

MOTHERS DAY GETAWAY "LOOKBOOK"

One of my favorite parts about traveling is styling looks and garment packing. Travel allows the opportunity to wear clothes you may not wear on a day to day basis (especially during a global pandemic). Spring is here, and I love me some sundress season. For this trip, I really wanted to channel “relaxed and effortless mom”. I found this vintage dress at a thrift store over five years ago. Though I have a small wardrobe, this piece has survived multiple purges. The forest green gingham and keyhole are my favorite part, which gives a subtle sexy vibe. Our getaway was very low activity, so I just pranced around the Airbnb barefoot in this dress which seemed really fitting for a dreamy nature trip. I paired this dress with a pair of gifted Madewell earrings called “Flower Power Statement” earrings.

The second day of the trip fell on a Sunday (Mother’s Day). I was most excited about Phoenix wearing his “Love Your Mother” shirt from “The Bee & The Fox” ! I myself don’t wear many graphic tees, but it was perfect for my little tot. My linen dress was a lucky find from T.J. Maxx a few months ago by brand Monteau Los Angeles. You guys know I love an abstract acrylic nail but I’ve been doing at home manicures and went with a bold nail called “Lets Talk” by brand Sinful Colors. Lastly, the powder pink pajama set was a Mother’s Day gift from my own mama, purchased at Target. This set is absolutely gorgeous, sexy, and comfortable. I love a nice pajama set and the pandemic has shown us a whole new level of loungewear importance.

I’m not sure when I’ll travel again. But, packing for this quick mini trip was fun ! What are some of you guys’ go to getaway pieces ?

BUTTERFLY COTTAGE FOR MOTHERS DAY IN RED ROCK TX

Mothers Day is always a sweet day for me, but this one was unforgettable. In general, the best gift for me to receive is an experience. I love travel, near and far. I love road trips, trains, and planes. In my spare time, I hunt for beautiful spaces on Airbnb just in case I need a getaway. Phoenix’s dad decided to surprise me with a home I showed previous interest in, but was too cheap to book. He told me about the trip two days before we left and I am still on a high from this mini vacation. Phoenix and I do not get much time out of the house, so a home nestled in the woods was ideal for a reset during this unpredictable time. This Airbnb was only an hour away from the Yurt we stayed at last year. Texas really has some gems.

When we arrived to the private property, we met the owners who were so sweet. We followed them on their land to our quaint cottage and my heart fluttered as we approached. The images online do this place no justice. So much thought was put into the architecture of this home, and I was really grateful to stay here. My favorite part was obviously the shower, patio, and outdoor views. We packed meals that were already prepared at Whole Foods and just needed to be warmed up, because #mothersday means no cooking. We got plenty of snacks and drinks, and just vibed the entire weekend. I blew bubbles with Phoenix and he played in the dirt. We took plenty champagne naps and relaxing showers. If you need a girls trip with a small group, a family getaway or romantic reset - this is your place.

As promised, click here for the link to Butterfly Cottage. Let me know how your stay was ! if this is your first time using Airbnb - use our link here to book for a discount.

How was mothers day for you guys ?

'LORNA SIMPSON' + WHATS ON MY COFFEE TABLE ?

On our coffee table lives vintage EBONY magazines from year 79’ and 80’. We thrifted these a couple years ago at a vintage shop when my grandparents came to visit. The images on the inside are such a beautiful representation of black people. A similar way of style and dress has emerged again which is pretty nostalgic. These magazines radiate positivity and wealth - they are a reminder for me to stick to the plan. 

Lorna Simpson was introduced to me by a friend who thought I’d love her work - and I do. Lorna takes images from magazines just like the ones on my coffee table and transforms them into something that feels dated, but modern simultaneously. The way she represents black lifestyle is poetic and bold. The images she chooses to mix, merge beautifully together. After falling into a research hole, I found this video. Here’s a peek into Lornas’ vision and expertise. 

I love the showcasing of an older black creative showing us this confidence in the art world. I feel like my peers and I have too much doubt with our work. I aim to be as fierce and graceful as Lorna. As an art lover, I thought I’d share. I also included some of Lorna's work.I hope you enjoy it. Who are some artists you’re channeling right now ?

Lorna Simpson Website

Lorna Simpson Instagram

DIY TABLE & CONSCIOUS HOME DECOR

Decorating my home has kept me sane during this time of isolation. Finding creative and crafty ways to execute my vision has been fun and challenging. I am always trying to find financially responsible and earth supporting ways to bring life into my home. You do have to spend money on some things in order to achieve your dream look, but there are many ways to save if you have time to go the extra mile.

For my dining area, I really wanted to go for a mid-century modern vibe. In my dining room lives a dresser which is a family heirloom given to me by my granny. The dresser has been around for as long as I have, and its just really special and irreplaceable to me. Since I have dark wood floors, and the dresser is dark itself - I wanted to lighten the room up some. After searching for inspiration on Pinterest, I found exactly what I was looking for. I found a similar style table on Offer Up for $20. The table was. in pretty bad shape but I knew I could transform it with a little love. The materials in order to repurpose the table came out to be $30. I spent an entire Sunday sanding and painting which was really calming for me. I am more than pleased with it, and its just another sentimental piece in a room where I will be hosting my small family and friends. I wanted a table that made a statement - without being too big as my son needs as much space as possible to play with his trucks !

DIY PROJECT :

INITIAL VISION :

Aside from Pinterest, I really have been looking at the Home section of Urban Outfitters - especially for bedroom inspiration. In my bedroom - I only want to promote sleep and relaxation. I don’t intend to put much art in my bedroom or add any furniture materials that aren’t natural. In general, I am a very dreamy and celestial person - so I want my sleeping space to be reflective of that. I had my eye on a specific ceramic light to go next to my bed for weeks. I was very close to buying this $60 lamp a few times but could never follow through with it. I was at Big Lots browsing with my mom and found a very similar lamp for $17. I was so happy when I found it because it has the exact same concept and was also a nice heavy ceramic piece. That same day after leaving big lots, we saw the same lamp again at target for $20. It made me happy to get the best price for it. Imagine I had paid $60 , there are so many other things I can do with that money! These two lamps are not exactly the same, but I am very satisfied with the shape and quality of the lamp I did purchase. I wanted something dim and magical and thats exactly what I got !

Ill be showing you guys a lot of my little projects and findings along the way. Being intentional about creating a haven is really important to me, so I thought I’d share ! What home decor hacks do you have to share ?

ONE MONTH INTO SOCIAL DISTANCING

Having to social distance and really anything having to do with “corona” is ….so chaotic and so calm all at once. This has felt really political for me, and i’m not into politics. Weirdly, this all seems so familiar. The past three years in Oklahoma and accepting slow living, makes this experience a little easier. Less than three months ago, I was living somewhere far from my family and friends, and spent A LOT of time with myself. I grew so much in that three years. Now that I am back in Texas, I feel that I can make more intentional decisions and I trust myself so much more. Sometimes you have to sit still and let life “pass you by.” In reality, you are just GROWING. Nowhere to turn, and no real distractions.

Living in OKC taught me that the small things are really special. A cup of coffee, a phone conversation with a friend that I love. I fell in love with the farmers market, and supporting local businesses. My creativity spiked as well as my appreciation for health and nature. It was a 7 hour drive from Houston, so when I did get a visitor it was a big deal. When you do go home, people are very excited to see you. Being away from people makes them more appreciative of your company. I feel this similar way about social distancing, as I witness people reminiscing on social media. Now we are appreciating what was, because we are without it. Life is interesting. This feels really depressing but also restorative - I’ve been here before. For years and years at a time.

What is not familiar, is wearing a mask outside of the house, and seeing others with masks. There’s less interaction and an overall bubble of fear around everyone. I really am disturbed by the amount of discomfort others are feeling right now. I am also concerned about what the rest of the year will look like as we are not in control of time. But I am pressing forward.. I am letting myself feel sorrow when it comes, giving myself a day or two without social media or much interaction until I sort things out. Extending grace in this space is essential because we are all reacting to this in our own ways.

Poet ‘Cleo Wade’ Home Tour by NOWNESS

Since the move I can’t stay away from home tours on YouTube. There’s just something so special to me about peoples homes and how they create space. Here’s one of my favorites :

LIFE UPDATE + SOCIAL DISTANCING

In general, life has been amazing. I’ve had a lot of sharp ups and downs in the past two months, but it’s been everything I've asked for. I truly see the power of manifestation. My life is completely different than it was last year, because I took the steps and faced things I once feared to get here. I am finally settled into my new place and loving it. Moving from Oklahoma City to Dallas was one of the most challenging experiences I’ve ever had. Things are settling in and I’m getting an idea of what my new life looks like.

Teaching is becoming easier and easier as the weeks go by, and I almost know all of my students names by heart. My relationship with a lot of my students has flourished and I have begun to receive true appreciation from them. I will admit, teaching is way harder than I thought it would be. Its been a long time since I’ve done something challenging, so this is sometimes scary. I am the type of person who mainly goes after things I know I can do well, but being a teacher is forcing me to see where I fall short. Everyday, I have to work harder at becoming more of an example and professional.

Creating a home that feels like a sanctuary has also been challenging because I’ve had to take my time. I am deeply affected by my environment so its been hard here lately, as I save and budget for furnishing. I finally am starting to get the pieces I want, and create a home for myself. Lately, I just look around and feel so thankful to have moved somewhere this beautiful. I have a bigger kitchen than the last place, I have wood floors which was really important to me. I have lots of natural lighting and am in a pretty cool neighborhood.

Emotionally and spiritually I am strong. I’ve had to sacrifice a lot and operate quicker than I’m used to. I am well aware of what needs to be done for me to reach my highest potential, so everyday is a continuous climb to that. This chapter is mainly about alignment and organizing. My emotions are in check when my life is in check. I’ve gotten so much better with spoiling myself a little. I’ve been getting myself things here and there without feeling guilty for it. I no longer feel such big guilt when I treat myself to things I know I earned/deserve. Taking responsibility for my own happiness has been the best thing I’ve ever done.

The pandemic that is “Corona Virus” has been pretty surreal. It has given me time to slow down and organize, appreciate and center myself. I can only hope that this virus passes over without harming many more people and that they find a cure. I am doing my part by social distancing. We’ve been staying in the house, only leaving to go to the store for things we need. In general, we are home bodies, so we aren’t stir crazy yet. This time is being used so wisely. I’ve been able to catch up on my Refinery 29, Sweet Digs Youtube videos. I’ve been able to catch all the way up on my laundry. I’ve moved the furniture around a few times. I’ve cleaned my home from top to bottom multiple times. As you can see, I’m making time for LADYFOX and writing in general.

In a nutshell- life is good, but a commitment to doing the work. How are you guys doing in this moment ?

Podcast Interview w/ Charisse Kenion from BeautyMe Podcast

Here is a clip of my podcast interview with UK based Charisse Kenion. This interview meant a lot to me because it was my very first podcast feature. Charisse and I both write for AllThePrettyBirds, and I’m so happy we got to collaborate. Working with women of color is one of my favorite past times, because the conversation is always filled with kindred energy. In this interview, I shared a little of my childhood and how I was raised around vanity. We talked about the symbolism of smiling in pictures. We discussed self esteem and my post baby journey. This interview is full of gems and positivity. Charisse and I have never met in person, but I felt a strong connection with her the moment we spoke. If you’re into the history of beauty, makeup and all things WOMANLY, click here for the full interview, available on all platforms.

GRAND OPENING ON H.E.R. CURLS IN DALLAS TX ~

Last week, I got the opportunity to attend the grand opening of HER curls in Dallas, Texas. This was by far the coolest event I’ve ever been to. When I first arrived, my senses were all activated at once. There was beautiful art, a bomb dj and great drinks being served. There was also a tattoo artist, doing flash tattoos! The atmosphere was really inviting and I met a lot of cool people. This shop was pretty much a plant and art filled space, for the ultimate escape while getting your tresses nurtured. The hairstylist who owns this salon caters specifically to curly hair, and it’s something we really need as naturalistas and curly hair girls. I was glad to be invited and a part of such amazing vibes. Since I’ve been natural (almost 10 years), I’ve never been to a professional salon. HER Curls may be my first professional hair salon service. If you’re in the area - check her out !

29TH BIRTHDAY

This year for my birthday I really wanted to keep it simple.  I wanted to be surrounded by love and support- so that’s what I did. I spent some time shopping with my mom, which we haven’t done in years. I bought myself things for my new place. I splurged on items I wouldn’t usually buy for myself. I spent time with people who really care about me and are supportive of who I am. Lately, I’ve been receiving love and affirmations from unexpected people and places. A big part of my life now is accepting love in all of its forms – and believing that I deserve it. All my life I thought I loved myself, but I see now that I am just starting. I am just now coming to a place where I am in love with my total being. This is the most transformative space I’ve ever been in aside from becoming a mother. Creating a calm but intentional environment for my birthday has supported me greatly in this hectic chapter. I have so many things I manifested and hoped for the last couple years. I’ve accomplished so much because I made the decision to go after the things that I want. I am proud of myself and how independent I am becoming. 

Last night, we had dinner and drinks at The Americano inside of The Joule Hotel - downtown Dallas. Afterward’ we went to my house and had a few more drinks. I was happy, at ease – listening to my music, sipping wine. Surrounded by family and friends. It was lovely. This year I want to focus on giving myself the best things without feeling guilty for it. I want to be more decisive and start trusting my first mind. This is the last year of my 20’s and I want to wrap this decade up with grace and happiness.

HER MIND | HIS MIND PROJECT by Delicia Waller

This past December I had a beautiful recorded conversation and shoot with photographer Delicia Waller. We met downtown Houston at a warehouse style gallery. This was Delicia’s first time shooting with artificial lighting and in a studio setting. I was patient with her as she manipulated the lighting and floated about the studio.

The idea behind her mind | his mind is to create authentic conversation between herself and those she chooses to interview. I love shooting with Delicia because theres a certain intimacy and safeness she provides as a photographer. We listened to a playlist of mine as we shot. I wore a red dress I thrifted the day before, and for the second look I changed into one of my favorite tunics I’ve had for at least ten years. This shoot felt natural because I was home, we could hear the city and traffic as we shot. In the beginning of our interview, you can hear us being interrupted by the train - which was beautiful in its own way.

After the shoot she asked me a few questions and we shared laughs. Creating with women is one of my favorite past times.

Here is the link to her project and some of my favorite images from the shoot.

THE BLACK PROJECT by Jakian Parks

“The Black Project” is dedicated to black history month - curated and shot by Photographer Jakian Parks. This is one of the most amazing shoots I’ve ever been apart of. Jakian has a way of pulling people together in an intentional way. Being around other young black creatives was a beautiful experience, because they felt like family. I had never met any of them, but there was an instant connection between the six of us. Something I really admire about black people is the way that we accept and invite each other so easily. Culturally, it is second nature to feel at ease and accepted around black people you’ve never met. To be able to laugh, compliment and share knowledge with them was a real treat.

Before the shoot, we had a styling session where we were all styled by Ariana, with clothes from the “Alt-Black” her sustainable fashion brand. She individually selected outfits for us in her apartment full of vintage pieces and accessories. I ended up wearing a champagne satin two-piece set. We all looked crazy, running around her house, brushing down baby hairs, picking out fros and all the behind the scenes stuff. All in all it was a black ass time. 

The shoot itself was beautiful, we shot behind a church and across the street in front of a school bus. People were driving by, rolling their windows down telling us how beautiful we looked. Jakian was even able to get a video clip of an older lady who stopped and shared a story on blackness and encouraging us to hold our heads high. The love was felt and really made the shoot an unforgettable moment. I thought it was funny that most of the shots are in front of a school bus, as I am a first year teacher.

Most of these pictures are of us mugging the camera. There’s an intensity and strength in all of our eyes. It took me a long time to realize that maybe my natural resting face is smug because of the journey of my ancestors. Many pictures that I take – it feels more natural not to smile. Maybe this is a defense mechanism and I feel the need to show my strength - more so than smiling and showing more “beauty” and happiness. Maybe I have been subconsciously protecting my happiness by not smiling. I think that from an ancestral standpoint, that my facial expressions and the way that I carry myself is the way my ancestors speak through me. This is why this shoot was so powerful, because naturally we all gave the same facial energy that was not prediscussed.

The Black Project is a representation of togetherness, protection and respect.

The film shots are by Kiki Mackey (@goodbyegraceland)

Voyage Houston Magazine Feature

My interview with Voyage Houston is now live. To read click here !

LADYFOX TURNS 1 !!

When I had the thought of starting a blog, I acted on it immediately. I was sure. Its in my pisces nature to start projects and not finish them which was a fear of mine going to blogging. I learned that when you are truly passionate about something, you’ll do what it takes to keep it alive. This is something that has been naturally consistent and healthy for me. Blogging has not only been a creative outlet, but has also led me to other opportunities that I could only dream of before. 

When I started I didn’t even know exactly what direction I wanted to go in. I just knew I needed to do it ! I am grateful for those who actually read my words. I am overjoyed every time someone tells me my words resonated with them or helped them in some way. LADYFOX was birthed to be a safe space for women, mothers and people in general. I feel really happy and proud to give back in this way. 

For those of you who have supported me, THANK YOU ! - so much more to come !!

artwork by : @handsomegirly

NYE + 2020 LIFE UPDATE

Here we are two weeks into 2020- and it feels unreal. The first month of the year is halfway gone, can you believe it ? The theme so far this year has been TRAVEL and CHANGE. When I look back at pictures from New Years Eve its like wow, that was two weeks ago and I already feel like a completely different person than I was in that moment.

For the New Year, we went to Los Angeles for a baby free trip. We met some friends out there, and rented a nice Airbnb. I was really intentional last year about how we brought the new year in. I knew I wanted to travel. I knew I wanted to really celebrate a fresh start. What I didn’t know when I planned the trip is that I would also be starting a new career and moving to a city. 

While in LA, we did some hiking. We did a little shopping in West Hollywood. We drove around our old neighborhood and ate at our favorite taco shop. When we lived in LA, it was prior to having a baby. We were young and free, working and having fun in-between. Living in Los Angeles taught me so much about life in general. It was nice to reminisce and channel the same energy from three years ago. I visited with one of my best homegirls on a Whole Foods date. I drove past where I used to work and it really took me back to that time. Troy and I spent an afternoon in Malibu at Getty Villa which was really beautiful.

On New Years Eve, I hosted an intimate dinner at our Airbnb, for a party of six. Initially, we had dinner reservations at a really romantic restaurant. We had a change of heart last minute to do dinner at home because we liked the Airbnb that much ! Most of my New Years Eve was spent running from store to store gathering all of the stuff we needed for dinner. I wanted to go for a very simple but romantic look for dinner. The theme was an all black dress code, so I chose to lighten things up with the table decor. Dinner came out great and we all enjoyed each others company. 

This trip was a great breather and opportunity to get back to myself and who I am outside of work, being a mother and my everyday routine. I enjoyed sleeping in, taking long showers and eating my meals slowly. I enjoyed wearing nice things and spending more time getting ready and feeling beautiful. Most of all I enjoyed making memories and deepening the bond with those that I love. 

Life has been hectic, beautiful, terrifying and just all of the THINGS. There has been a lot of decision making, time crunching and sacrificing. I’ve been pulling energy out of pockets I didn’t know I had. Im really excited to see how things play out in a month or so. Right now, I am most excited about living in a new space. I am excited to nest and make this place a home. 

I hope that everyone is continuing to channel that strong and motivating new year energy. What I’ve noticed is that each year, I get myself really revved up for the new year. Once it comes, if things don’t immediately take off the way I want, I get kind of discouraged and slip into place of pity and annoyance. I do this every single year. After two weeks of unnecessary wallowing, I realize that I am exactly where I need to be, and I return to that place of motivation. 

There are a lot of amazing things coming up that I can’t wait to share. Until then, enjoy these pictures from NYE, and our California trip ! 

MY EXPERIENCE AS A FIRST YEAR ENGLISH TEACHER

Where do I begin ? I’ve been manifesting this career for a while, and the time is finally here. For months and months, I daydreamed about how it would feel to be an educator and how my students would react to me. I would imagine how my classroom may look and what kind of open discussions I would have with my students. I really want to be that impactful English teacher that students remember well in to their adulthood. Im not sure how long I will be a teacher, but this is something I’ve always envisioned myself doing even in my adolescence.

The school I teach at is predominately black and hispanic. This was important to me because I feel like people of color really need educators of color. Educators who believe in them and who will have patience and a genuine passion to change their lives. All of my life, I’ve often been the only black girl in my workspace, but that has all changed. My principal is black, our librarian is black, there’s black staff and I feel right at home. I feel safe to express myself and operate at my highest level of knowledge. My students are beautiful. They are bodacious, they are raw and honest. I chose to teach high school because that’s a time where I struggled the most in school. I think if I had a cool teacher to look up to who really cared about my future, it would’ve changed my experience ! Students in high school need to understand their worth. They need help beyond standardized test preparation. I do see challenges with them in the future but I am excited to create boundaries and build a strong relationship with them.

My classroom is everything. The school itself is a very old building, which means I get big tall windows and all the nostalgic feels. I started decorating my FIRST day, I was so happy. The classroom is a true sanctuary. I look forward to the rest of the year with my students. I look forward to learning the ropes and becoming a better teacher. This process has shown me that I am the teacher AND the student.

QUEEN & SLIM INSPIRED SHOOT W/ JAKIAN PARKS

Troy and I had the pleasure to collaborate with Oklahoma City based photographer Jakian Parks. When he reached out to me about a Queen & Slim inspired shoot, I had no idea they’d come out this amazing. This shoot was special because we had a babysitter, so we were able to be in our zone. Jakians’ energy really shines through his art. He is creative, he is professional and a true effortless visionary. Shoots like these make me excited to show Phoenix when he gets older. My hair was really fluffy and we shot on an overcast Sunday. He also managed to get us this super cool car, the owner of the car was really sweet as well. This is the last shoot we may have in Oklahoma before we move, so its really nostalgic and sentimental.

WHY I CHANGED MY IG NAME - INTRODUCING DISCO CHLO

December is here in all of its ending glory. You guys know I love a fresh month, full of opportunities. Its already the 2nd, I don’t even know where the 1st went ! I am finally coming out of the shell I was in for a couple months and celebrating the birth of who I’ll become in this next chapter. At this point, I am preparing for a major shift, and I’m really excited. Everything I’ve worked for this year is finally paying off and I can see some real results. I realized that I didn’t stop and clap for myself enough this year. I really did a WHOLE LOT, and I am just now realizing it.

I feel that it is very necessary for me to be intentional about changing. I am holding myself accountable to transform into the woman I KNOW I can be. The woman I aspire to be is fearless, she goes with her first mind with confidence. She smiles deep from the inside. The woman I want to be dances like no-one is watching and is so focused on her own path, she hasn’t stopped to observe anyone else’s. The woman I want to be buys what she wants, without checking her bank app. She is happy and thriving in her profession and fulfilled by her work. The woman I want to be has super clear skin and two trips planned ahead. The woman I want to be values her heart and is comfortable in her skin. The woman I want to be is swimming in an ocean of endless self love and is not worried about the past or future- only the now. The woman I will be is welcoming raw love and unleashing her true wild nature.

I have to be honest with myself and look at what is holding me back in the present moment. I mostly think it is fear and attachment to things I’ll have to let go to make room for new.

I changed my Instagram name to @discochlo because I am obviously a huge fan of the seventies. My style very much reflects black women in the seventies, and in general I wish I was born in that era. The disco represents fun and excitement. It represents moving your body and dancing to the beat of your personal drum. So much of this year has been work and sacrifice, but I am ready to enjoy the fruits of my labor. I am ready to have a little fun and loosen up now. Before my Instagram handle was my full name. I thought this was important to maintain a “brand” and keep things professional. Now , I realize that my brand is whoever I choose to be in that moment. My brand is ever-changing like I am. I am welcoming the relaxed, free and even more stylish version of myself in the upcoming year.

I think once you have a child, you are conditioned to go back to how you were. You’re so ready to get back to pre-baby body and pre-baby life. Now that I look back, I DO NOT want to go back to the woman I was before I had my son. I am so much stronger now, in every way. I am opening the doors for the new me who is emerging. I am welcoming the Queen herself. There’s been a few moments towards the end of the year where Disco Chlo slips out, but she always disappears again. Here are a few pictures from a week ago when she revealed herself via selfies. Soon she will be here to stay.

Who do you want to be in 2020 ?

QUEEN & SLIM - FILM OF THE YEAR

Wow. What a piece of work.

This is the most beautiful cinematic experience I’ve had in a while. The richness and the rawness really captivates the audience in a romantic and melodic way. Queen and Slim are an undeniably beautiful pair. The entire movie is based around a “Bonnie & Clyde” mood but you forget they’re even on the run, because of the romance. I was blushing the entire movie, from the flirting, to the sex scenes, to the way they grew with each other in just a matter of days. The film was relatable in many ways, which is what really draws you in and makes you commit to each scene. At this day and age, any 15-40 year old black person could face this exact situation, so that makes the movie really personal.

My favorite scene in the film, ( because I am a sap) - is when they went into the hole in the wall night club to dance. From the moment he pulled up, seeing the excitement on his face about taking her to dance. The back and forth dialect between them before they got out the car. It was all just filling my love cup to the freaking brim. I love this part of the movie because this is where they crossed the threshold from just friends to lovers. He finally got his second date and it was so spicy compared to the first. I loved the way the bar welcomed them - much how black people do in general with these types of settings. I love the way they danced and embraced each other. The flirt levels in this movie just really make you gush because it seems so genuine and real. I love the way that Slim made special moments happen throughout a journey others would view as scary. He made sure to create memories and leave a legacy behind regardless of how things may end.

The art in this movie was prevalent from the costumes, the soundtrack and the setting. Being a southern girl, I love the southern depictions in this movie. I felt right at home in the theater. The scenery as they drove through each state was so amazing to see. The intentional effort that was put behind this movie is outstanding. I didn’t take my eyes away from the screen for a second this entire film. I would say my favorite scene in regards to the arts, was when she went to her uncles house in New Orleans. Everybody has an uncle like that - one they can go to when they get into some real trouble. I found this part amusing and entertaining, but also insightful because we finally got an understanding of why Queen came off as cold in the beginning of the film.

I loved the representation of Slim. I love that he was a black man that was depicted as someone who was gentle, and loving. I love that Slim was a man who believed in a higher power and was comfortable in his own skin. Sometimes, in films its exhausting to always see the black man be overly-aggressive and have these nasty characteristics that take away from their magic. Slim was a man who knew how to demonstrate empathy and a poetic way of loving. Him and Queen made such a beautiful couple. I loved to see the way they handled each other and broke down walls to make room for trust and vulnerability. We need to see more of this kind of love in modern films.

This movie is perfect for a date night, though you’ll need a drink after. We actually saw the movie twice, and I could see it again and again. The way the movie was introduced to us on social media before it even hit theaters was so genius and intimate. I had a relationship with this film before it came out. I really love the direction black art is going and I can’t wait to see this movie win an award. I haven’t felt this way about a romantic/racial movie since “If Beale Street Could Talk”. Melina Matsoukas and Lena Waithe really outdid themselves.

What was your favorite part of Queen and Slim ?

Photo By : Andre Wagner