THINGS ARE SWEET

Boy, has it been a while since I’ve shared in this space. I was called to write today and express some happiness that I am experiencing. I understand that happiness is not a constant state of being - but a piece of joy here and there. In the past few days people have been showing me love through random acts of kindness. I got a message from a friend who lives very far (Cape Town). She expressed to me that I’ve been on her mind and she asked if we could talk and catch up this weekend. There’s something so sweet about me being on someones mind enough for them to compose a special message, especially when its been a while since we’ve spoken. Its so easy to feel forgotten when you’re in the day to day of your obligations. Sometimes, responsibilities can be so constant that you feel like you’re just blending into everything else that exists.

Last week - The Friday before Valentines Day, one of my students brought me a bag full of small gifts. I thought this was sweet because they could have waited until Monday (Valentine’s Day) - but they were sure to catch me early. This is a student I taught in the past, whom I still share a connection with (like most of my former kids). In the bag was a set of felt tip pens in every color, a journal, some lotion and chapstick. They also got some healthier snacks that I eat and wrote in a card as well. The gifts they selected are only gifts that someone who is paying attention to me could pick. In general, I have really caring students and I am grateful for the memories. This is one I’ll never forget. It lets me know that I am seen, and that the specific things about me matter.

Right before the pandemic, I met a very talented lady who is into all sorts of creative things. She is highly professional and somewhat of an activist for women and black people in general. She reached out to me about a project and I was so flattered that she was fond of my work. Reminders like these always guide me back to myself and show me the ways I impact others. It is so easy to forget your own magic. She told me that my work speaks for itself and then proceeded to praise ‘Ode to 20s’. This made me feel warm inside, and I am thrilled from whatever is born from this alliance.

Theres a coffee shop I frequent in my neighborhood. This coffee shop is so convenient because its close by and in route after I drop my son off at school in the mornings. I usually park out front and wait ten or so minutes until they open. I just sit there and listen to music or check my emails - and then I run in for my latte. I personally see baristas as angels on earth, but the barista who works the morning shift of this shop has lukewarm energy. In general, baristas can be the start to your day. They’re so much more than coffee curators. They have the best stories and conversations, but this barista is different. She isn’t friendly or mean - just an interesting neutral in between.

Anyway, I was sitting out there this morning waiting for them to open. I was actually dancing when a I heard a startling knock on my window - IT WAS THE LUKE WARM BARISTA! I rolled the window down and she handed me my coffee. She explained to me that she saw me come and leave last week. She handed me my vanilla latte with oat milk just the way I like it, for free. This really warmed my heart. The week before when I drove up and saw her - I decided to go to a different coffee shop because that barista is very nice and I hadn’t seen them in a while. I really couldn’t believe that she remembered my order and walked it out to the car. This reminded me to give people chances, chances to show how beautiful their colors are. I really began to give up on this grumpy barista.

This fusion of gestures the universe continues to send is much appreciated. I do a lot of sweet things for others knowing it will come back to me in some form. Life is getting pretty sweet. I’ve taken time away from this blog because I’ve been working hard on my second zine. It is almost ready. I can’t wait. It feels good to write again about nothing and everything. It also feels good to have somewhere to go that I can just ramble but I don’t have to yell - because whoever reads this is reading it because they want to.

Love,

C.